15 Things Nobody Tells You About Relationships
By Anna Breslaw
1. Sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, like hang out with his lame friends. You're not always in the mood to nurse a beer silently while he and his boys argue about who's going to die next on Game of Thrones - but tomorrow he's sitting through a seven-girl brunch. So.
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2. It's possible to spend all your time with someone for lots of years and not get sick of them and love them more than when you first got together.
3. But getting that emotionally close with him might be scary at first. We're not all comfy with close partnerships right off the bat. You can be in the first good relationship you've ever had, and half the time you want to cry or throw up because you're not used to being that open and vulnerable with a guy you're sleeping with - especially if you're used to playing the Who Cares Less game with flaky, commitment-phobic dicknuggets.
4. Your significant other probably won't be the kind of person you always thought you'd be with. Because chances are your biggest blow-up/failure of a relationship were with someone you considered "the perfect guy" for you. He wasn't.
5. In a good relationship, it's OK to be the first person who says, "I love you." Terrifying? Totally. But when they say it back, you're obviously on the same page, so let go of the idea that you saying it first means you love him more than he loves you.
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6. You will finally understand and be moderately more forgiving of friends who blew your tentative brunch dates off to sleep in with their boyfriends. Sometimes you just want to stay in the 11 a.m. spoon position.
7. And friends in relationships who'd always counted on you to be "the single one" might have a surprisingly weird/negative reaction to your relationship. If your best friend is a serial monogamist who's listened to your awful dating stories for years, she might feel threatened that you're growing closer to someone else for the first time.
8. You can give each other bad habits, but you can also cure each other's bad habits - like if you drink a lot and your boyfriend doesn't drink. Positive influences are a great perk of a relationship - if you are a lazy, soda-guzzling, occasionally-Marlboro-27-smoking sea slug like me, a health-conscious boyfriend means a solid lifestyle change.
9. However, working out together will remain totally unappealing. Unless you are a person I hate, in which case go get matching tracksuits and stay off my block.
10. You won't feel more complete as a person. Everything's pretty much the same, except you're in a relationship.
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11. Your biggest fights will probably be about the dumbest things. For instance, I am a veteran of the Great "Why Do You Have to Wear Galoshes; You're a Man" Battle of 2012.
12. No one cares about how you met. Which means: No long, detailed stories about the hilarity or crazy coincidences of your meeting. Please. We're all going to die someday.
13. Everyone you have ever met will try to give you relationship advice. Ninety-five percent of it will be awful. And 100 percent of it is colored by who they are and what their relationships are like. In other words, #TrustNoOne. Kidding, kinda! Just trust your instincts rather than what people tell you: Only you and your significant other can really know what your relationship needs.
14. You can and should still need alone time sometimes. Only people looking for someone to prop them up emotionally fall into Codependenceville. Spend a quiet Sunday to take some "you" time. That overpriced face mask you bought when you were depressed that one day isn't gonna use itself.
15. Sometimes he will buy you ugly shit and you'll actually like it just because it was from him. Awwwww, baby, this is the best hideous wall sconce shaped like Steve Buscemi's head that I've ever gotten!
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