3 reasons to accept your boyfriend's compliments
When you're worried about your too-wide thighs or saggy boobs, it can be hard to believe that anyone else likes them, let alone that your boyfriend loves them! Well, today, Sally from Already Pretty tells us the three reasons why you MUST MUST MUST accept his compliments...
Here's Sally's story...
Like many women, I have trouble accepting compliments. Part of my resistance is linked to matters of modesty: I want the world to see that I love myself, but don't want the world to believe that I LOOOOOOOOOVE myself. I have a tough time figuring out when I appear healthily proud of my innate hotness, and when I'm coming off as a self-absorbed weenie. It's a fine line, ya know?
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And then, of course, there's the disbelief factor. Seriously? You think I have great legs? You love this dress on me? You're probably just making conversation. Or being polite. Or maybe you just got back from an eye appointment and your pupils are the size of hubcaps and EVERYTHING looks sparkly to you. I want to believe people when they say nice things about me--my style, my looks, my talents--but doubt often eclipses acceptance.
I work at it, though. I actively practice both accepting compliments and giving them. When my internal naysayer yammers, I drown her out with reminders that compliments are verbal gifts. Doubting them is both rude and ridiculous. After all, why would a person go out of her way to remark aloud on something if she didn't truly find it pleasing?
And yet, accepting compliments about my body from my husband has proven more difficult than any other compliment challenge I've faced. When he says I have a great ass, I peer around my shoulder and think, "C'mon, really? That old thing? What are you, BLIND?"
But accepting his praise has a lot riding on it. Deflecting compliments from friends and strangers carries the risk of slight insult. Doubting my husband hurts him. And, my dears, that simply won't do.
Now some of you are in relationships, and some aren't. But I'm telling you right now: Regardless of relationship status, when a man says that you have sexy hips or gorgeous abs or perfect legs, you've got to believe him. And not just because you run the risk of hurting him if you deflect.
Here are three important reasons to accept the compliments that your lover pays to your bod.
Taste is a very real phenomenon. Just as people have preferences for certain types of food and clothing and music, people have preferences for certain types of body parts. Just because YOU don't love your boobs, doesn't mean your man can't go crazy for them. Give him some credit for knowing what turns him on.
What's he really thinking when he sees you naked?
As I stated above, compliments are gifts. You may struggle to love your own body every day--as so many women do, myself included. What better reason to soak up those adoring words? Think of any compliments that your lover gives you as glimpses of yourself from his perspective. And revel in them.
As you've no doubt heard ad nauseum, trust is a pillar of all successful relationships. Refusing a compliment from your man reveals a lack of trust. You don't trust him to be honest with you, you don't trust him to judge what is beautiful, you don't trust him to say something genuinely nice about you without harboring an ulterior motive. He might feel these and any number of other doubts when you brush him off. You've gotta trust the man.
I know it's hard, but work at it. I do. When he gazes at your smiling face and praises your luscious lips, thank him for being so sweet. When he caresses your breasts and sings their praises, let that desire and adoration radiate through you. When you're lying in bed, giggling and snuggling, and he says, "I could just devour your gorgeous thighs," don't you dare say, "Oh, stop it."
Instead, say, "Bon appetit, baby!"
When your boyfriend (or friends or parents) compliment you, how do you react? Do you believe them? Do you find it hard to accept their praise?
P.S. Read Sally's awesome blog Already Pretty and her fabulous ode to small boobs!
Related: The Best and Worst Sex Advice of the Last 70 Years.
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