3 Benefits to Your Guys' Favorite Sports Team Doing Badly
By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
This was a rough sports weekend here in my home town of Philadelphia. Everything went all pear-shaped for the Phillies and the Eagles (although you could argue that the Eagles started the season pear-shaped and simply remained that way). I suddenly found myself without any real investment in the football season or the rest of the baseball playoffs... in early October. My first thought was, "It's going to be a long, parade-less winter," but then I made a personal inventory and discovered that there are lots of nice things about living in a city cloaked in professional athletic failure and embarrassment-especially for my wife, Karel.
See if my list of perks applies to you and the dejected sports fan in your life.
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1. More help around the house. During the playoffs it's easy to become a touch myopic and decide that your entire day revolves around watching the game. When someone asks, "What are you doing today?" and the answer is, "Getting ready for the game and watching the game," well, it's just not very conducive to getting much else done. However, since the Phillies were eliminated from my heart on Friday night, I've plastered, prepped and painted my living room, hung two wall sconces, cleaned my house, helped out around my parents's house, taken my kids to visit their cousin in New York, and written several angry blog posts that will never be published because of all the profanity, and read a book. Much to the delight of my wife, the Phillies' lack of productivity at the plate has spurred a dramatic increase of productivity in my life... she really likes the wall sconces. Thanks, guys!
2. A hotter, fitter husband. During the football season and the baseball post-season, whatever inroads I've made to a healthier lifestyle go completely out the window. I smoke like a Camden tire fire, I drink like I'm auditioning for a spot on the Jersey Shore, and I eat my weight in salty pork and beef. Without high pressure baseball and with the knowledge that my football team is so very horrible and going to lose in new and embarrassing ways each week, all that nervous self destructive energy has totally disappeared. I'm running again (something you can't do when you stay up 'til midnight chain smoking and inhaling roast beef sandwiches while watching a one-run pitching duel), I've even joined a gym and started swimming. Why, if I keep going at this rate I'll be ready to play a full four quarters of football in no time, which is more than I can say for anyone on the Eagles. Karel likes svelte healthy Aaron much more than she likes the Aaron who sweats pork grease and hacks up phlegm.
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3. Increased family quality time (and date nights). When the sports teams you care about are good it can be a scheduling nightmare because you don't want to miss a minute of the action. Difficult questions about time management surrounding work, family events, childcare, and home improvement can make an already tense situation even more challenging. With my baseball team dormant until spring and the football team dormant for the foreseeable future I don't have to worry about Autumnal scheduling conflicts for the first time in years. Oh no! I might miss it when "Defensive Coordinator" Juan Castillo tries out his new "Tickle Defense!" Or when the offensive and defensive lines keep getting distracted by that thing in the sky! Or MORE missed tackles! Or when the Eagles set the season record for turnovers! Or when the one bright spot on the team, Shady McCoy, is randomly carried off by Pterodactyl at the Meadowlands! Anyway, my point is, I won't feel like I'm missing something important if I can't make time for an Eagles game this season (aside from the potential return of dinosaurs), and that will mean less scheduling arguments between the wife and I and more fun outings with our kids and more evenings out without kids. It's a surprisingly freeing feeling.
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