Getting Back With Your Ex: Good Idea or Horrible Mistake?
Posted by Alex Johnson for BounceBack.com
A lot can be said about the idea of getting back together with an ex. Most of the time what is being said is with a negative tone. I can almost hear what my friends would say to me if they knew I was thinking about getting back together with an ex of mine: "Once a cheater-always a cheater." Or the popular, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
While it is great to have these cliche quotes to remind us of potentially making a fatal mistake, I must ask the question…When is it a good idea to get back together with an ex?
Related: 4 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Point Fingers At Your Ex
As they say, the only two people to ever know what really goes on in the relationship are the two people involved. You usually tend to only hear your friend's side of the story or vice versa, but it is rare that you will have both parties explain the reasons why they ended. So you are left to give your opinions based on one side of the story.
There are so many reasons why couples end their relationship, but the bigger questions are raised when they both decide to get back together. We have all been faced with that dilemma, whether it is us doing the asking to get back together or the other way around. You must always tread lightly for fear of repeating the past. This leads me into a few good reasons as to WHY it is a good idea to give that ex a second chance.
1. Desire - The desire to want to get back together is needed. Of course it can be confusing if the ex reappears or you have already healed and now those emotions are suddenly back again. But whether or not things ended on a good or bad note, the "desire" must be there. This is not to be confused with lust or any of the sexual emotions but rather the desire to actually want to be with that person again.
2. Acceptance - When bringing back an ex into your life or trying to force yourself back into their lives, you must first learn to accept some of the reasons why you broke up in the first place. Accept the flaws that come with your partner and learn not to use it against them ever again. By allowing that person back into your life, you are also letting that person know that you accept them…short comings and all.
3. Forgiveness - This is probably the toughest thing to do in life. Forgive. Whatever the reasons for breaking up is (infidelity, difference of opinion, long distance, careers, just to name a few) when we forgive someone for their mistakes, we have to learn to forget about the action as well. Of course, you will never really ever forget but you can certainly forgive. Using someone's mistakes against them is just as evil as the act itself. By forgiving your partner, you are allowing them to start fresh and build a relationship with you…for the second time.
Related: Every Thought is a Choice
For whatever the reasons are for getting back together with an ex might be. Please give it plenty of time to think about the pros and cons, the reasons you ended in the first place and if you really are willing to start fresh. It is not an easy thing to do but then again, no one ever said that it would be easy.
Alex Johnson is a freelance writer and is currently living in New York City. Follow his blog about love, dating and all in between at: www.updatenyc.net
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