3 Things to Consider Before Moving in with Your Man
Contemplating moving in with your guy? According to research from the Journal of Marriage and Family, people who live together before marriage actually report higher levels of happiness and self-esteem than those who tie the knot first. One possible reason: singles retain a greater sense of autonomy after shacking up than married folks do. But here's the deal: moving in will only make you happier if you're really ready for it. Don't do it just for convenience. Don't do it just because your lease is up. Don't be hasty. Here are some things to consider before you start scouting out your new one-bedroom.
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Money matters. Since you aren't married, there's no need to discuss shared bank accounts or swap your family's financial histories. Instead, start with the obvious: before you sign a lease, you need to figure out how you're going to split up the rent and utilities. Then, you'll need to figure out how to divide your everyday living expenses like groceries, cleaning supplies, etc. Detailing who is in charge of paying for your weekly trip to Sam's Club may seem trivial but it will fend off a lot of potential spats. Nobody wants to feel like they are shouldering an unfair share of the bills, so talk it out first.
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Keep doing your own thing. Living with someone is fun! You've got constant companionship and will always have someone to do stuff with. But just because you're moving in together, doesn't mean you should spend all your time together. You have to maintain your own sense of a separate self. Next time you catch yourself saying, "What are WE having for dinner?" or "What are WE doing tonight," remind yourself that you and your BF are not becoming one person. When you're living together you have to make a bigger effort to do separate things, hang out with your own friends, and generally make sure that you're still living your own life.
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Make sure you're on the same page. For some people, moving in means you're on the path to the alter. For others, it's just a convenient way to save money and spend more time together. It's important for both partners to discuss what moving in together means to them and come to terms with what each other wants.
Happy unpacking!
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