Here's the Prime Age for Women for Online Dating--and Why I'm Not that Sad to Be Past It

by Gena Kaufman

Getty Images
Getty Images

My first serious foray into online dating came when I was 26 and in the middle of the first of what would be two breakups with the same guy. Round two came when I was 30, and it's still going strong as my 32nd birthday creeps up on me later this month. (Send cards and wrinkle cream, please.) I noticed a marked difference in the amount of attention I got the second time around, but when I insisted it was because I was over 30, people told me I was imagining it.

I'm not. According to a new study of more than 81,000 single people between the ages of 25 and 35, there are women who receive significantly more attention online. Those women are 25 and 26. There are also women who receive the least amount of attention. They are 33. You can see which end of the attention spectrum I'm closest to. Eep!

See more: 10 Trends to Try in 2014

For the most part, I'm actually fine with that. Well, let's start with what I'm not fine with: According to the same study, men's popularity doesn't vary with age but with salary and education, which is a whole heaping pile of ugh, society, come on, get it together.


But leaving aside that larger issue, which doesn't have a simple solution for getting changed in a hurry, I don't find it to be a big deal that I don't get as many messages as I used to. For one, the reality is that amongst people in my approximate age group, there are just fewer single people generally as I attend more and more weddings every year.

See more: 13 Sneaky Habits That Can Cause Acne

But the real thing I've noticed is that while there's a dip in my overall inbox, there doesn't really appear to be a significant decrease in the amount of quality messages I get (Anecdotally, of course. I don't have scientific stats on my inbox.) Which is to say, 95 percent are still generic, cut-and-paste, overtly sexual, boring, offensive, or grammatical disasters, just like they were when I was 26. But the number of thoughtful, charming messages I get, while never as high, is still holding steady. I don't go on a million dates and I haven't met the perfect guy for me yet, but at age 26 and at age almost-32, I've gone on plenty of dates with plenty of nice, smart guys. Even at 26, it was pretty easy to weed out the guys who were the type to value a woman only for things like "youth" and "hotness," and at 32, if there's less opportunity, there's also less need to weed out. I'm OK with that, because I also have less energy now.

The most popular type of woman online is a 25-year-old Catholic who drinks socially and has a dog. I was her once (OK, I didn't have a dog, but close), and I certainly didn't find true love then. That's not to say people can't find their match then, but that I still feel fairly confident I also can as a 32-year-old agnostic who still doesn't want a dog.

Anyone noticing a difference in online popularity as you get older? Does it worry you, or do you not care?

More from Glamour:
The Best Celeb Haircut for Your Texture
11 Dating Don'ts You Should Stop Doing Now
25 Celebrity Hairstyles That Will Make You Want Bangs
10 Wardrobe Essentials Every Woman Should Own