4 Secrets to a Better Relationship

Marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein promises on her blog, Be the Smart Wife, to teach you "how to take care of yourself and your marriage without killing your husband." Read on for her suggestions on how to strengthen your marriage.

1. When it comes to conflict, it's not about winning. If your goal is to win, you will lose. Instead, take the time to truly understand your partner's perspective rather than dismiss it.

Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits, Explained

2. Happy couples are not perfect couples -- there's no such thing. Instead, accept each other's differences, and have compassion for one another.

3. Take the time to be present with your partner and really listen to him or her with attention. Turn off the TV, the blackberry, the iPad, the computer and give your marriage the attention in not only deserves, but needs.

Related: 5 Things Super-Happy Couples Do Every Day

4. Your partner's job is not to "rescue" you from your old childhood wounds - that's for you, as an adult to understand and nurture. Instead, think of yourself as a "the cake" and your partner as the "icing" on top. He or she is there to compliment you as a person, rather than take care of you.

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