5 Fights About Money in Marriage

I've never been a materialistic person. Thrift stores for my kids school clothes? A public education? Cooking at home instead of funding McDonald's billion dollar empire? Sign me up. But lately, I've been feeling resentful - right or wrong. I need a break.

Rex and I need to look at the budget again and decide what is "fair". For example: He's flying to New York next week to see a friend. His justification? It's free money based on mileage he's built up from work.

On one hand, it makes perfect cents - pun intended. On the other, I don't get mileage on my Mommy Credit Card for driving the kids to karate, dance, school, doctors, friends' houses, swim lessons, etc.. Does that mean I don't get a vacation?

This article brings up a ton of good points on why couples fight about cash. In short order they are:

1. Neglect (Pssst... it's more about not paying attention to the marraige than the finances.)

2. Love is Blind (At the beginning of the relationship, money is not an issue. Then comes the rent/mortgage, kids, etc..)

3. When Women are the Breadwinners (A twist in earning power means tension about role expectations.)

4. Keeping Up with the Joneses (The "If the neighbors have a new porch, why shouldn't we?" scenario.)

5. Not enough open communication about where the money is going. (This is my beef, not the articles.)

I relate to #1 a lot."Often, in couples who are arguing about money, it's not money that's the problem," says Harley. "Instead, the money fights are a byproduct of relationship neglect."

Rex and I are going to talk not only about the budget this week - about what is important to him (long term goals) and what is vital for my soul (short term fun.)

Thoughts on money? Who fights about it? What's the solution where both parties feel satisfied?

Posted by Andrea Frazer

Reprinted with Permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.