5 Lessons We Learned From Al and Tipper Gore's Separation
So much for the kiss seen 'round the world.
Former Vice President Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, are separating after 40 years of marriage, the Associated Press reported.
While "celeb" splits are more the rule than the exception these days, this one makes us particularly sad. After that long, lovey smooch at the 2000 Democratic presidential convention, the duo practically became the poster children for marital passion.
The Gores told friends they "grew apart" after 40 years of marriage, carving out separate lives while the former vice president was frequently on the road, two longtime close associates and family friends told the Associated Press. "Their lives had gotten more and more separated," one of the associates said.
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There were hiccups along the way, but they were very, very minor. In a 2000 interview, Tipper said Al once gave her a Weedeater for her birthday, but had learned to be more sensitive over the years. "He's very much a gentleman you know, with me around the house," Tipper said. "I know he's dog tired and he could be sitting down and doing something and I need something across the room, he'll get up and get it."
They also knew how to have fun ... together. On Halloween, Al and Tipper Gore would dress up in costume and greet trick-or-treaters who made their way to the vice president's mansion. Over the years, Al appeared to be smitten, referring to his wife as "someone I've loved with my whole heart since the night of my high school senior prom" and "my beloved partner in life."
Since it seems like Al and Tipper did everything right, we dug up SELF's best marriage advice to safeguard our own marriages 40 years from now.
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1. Remember to dream together
"We dreamed from the beginning, when we mapped out honeymoons we could not afford. ...The dreams involve our children, our careers, our hobbies, our desires for adventure."
The capacity to dream together can be the "connective tissue" holding a couple together throughout struggles and disappointment, wrote Martha McPhee in an excerpt from "The Honeymoon's Over: True Stories of Love, Marriage and Divorce." Perhaps somewhere along the way, Al and Tipper let themselves grow too far apart.
2. Don't forget to tell him he's hot
In the 10 years since their famous kiss, maybe Al and Tipper forgot that a simple "you look so hot right now" can go a long way ... especially in the bedroom.
3. It's the little things that count
According to psychologists John Gottman, Ph.D., and Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D, "Small, positive [gestures] can make a big difference in the success of a marriage."
Perhaps Al had been slacking since the days when he would get something for Tipper from "across the room" even when he was dog tired.
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4. Don't avoid conflict
According to the Gottmans, "couples who have habitually sidestepped [talking about] tough feelings may become distant [in a crisis] ... sharing the same space, but never interacting in meaningful ways." In other words, it's worth it to have the tough conversations now. You'll thank us 40 years from now.
5. Make time without the kids
It's an inconvenient truth that the young-uns can get in the way of romance. Plan weekly dates for talking, without interruption, and quarterly romantic getaways, no kids allowed, the Gottmans advise.
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Photo Credit: WWD
