5 Myths and Facts About Relationship Breakups
Ending a relationship is rough. Aside from the metaphorical breaking of your heart, there are those painstaking social media reminders that yes, your ex does still have a life and yup, it's going just fine without you.
Imagine how easy a romantic split would be in a world without Facebook status updates, TMI-Tweets and random urges to send a drunken text. Sounds like a fantasy land, right? Well, though you cannot send your social media websites a cease and desist order, you can take a step towards post-dumping psychological well-being by cutting all ties with your ex. That's why we're celebrating our second annual "Break Up With Your Ex" campaign, which starts Wednesday, February 1 and culminates with Break Up With Your Ex Day on February 13.
We recently surveyed* more than 1,300 people and found that 85 percent have a hard time getting over a breakup and could really use a "break-over" to help in the healing process. While we're here to help this happen, we discovered that women aren't wallowing and eating their feelings post-breakup, as pop culture might have us believe. Instead, they're taking healthy, proactive steps like exercising, spending time with friends and avoiding ex sex-all in the name of moving on from an ex.
Here are other breakup myths and facts our survey revealed:
#1 Comfort food. Romantic comedies and sitcoms have us assuming that a pint of Ben & Jerry's-or some other fully-loaded ice cream-is a woman's top choice for post-dumping indulgence. But such is not the case, according to our survey. Ladies actually turn to wine when reeling from a break-up; chocolate came in second as the comfort food of choice, with healthy food, salty food and ice cream following behind.
#2 Speaking of food… With all of that snacking, it's easy to assume weight gain comes with breakup territory. But only seven percent of those surveyed say they put on a few pounds after a split. Rather, 35 percent say they are motivated to hit the gym and/or start a new diet. Makes sense, as 84 percent agree that breaking up with someone can be a good opportunity for self-improvement.
#3 Ex sex? No thanks. No need for one last sexual hurrah with a former lover-a whopping 81 percent agreed that ex sex is always a bad idea. The best way to heal (aside from a technology "break up," that is)? Most say spend time with friends, exercise and go shopping are surefire routes to recovery.
#4 Let's still be friends. It may seem rash to unfriend an ex after a breakup-especially if the split was "mutual" or "friendly." But the problem with staying friends on Facebook and Twitter? Knowing when your ex has fallen for someone new. More than 75 percent of respondents agreed that if you feel the sting of jealousy when you realize your ex has moved on, it's likely because you're not over him. Speaking of getting over him, 55 percent say it typically takes months to do so. So, the notion that going from lovers to friends soon after a breakup is a good idea? Eh, not so much. Taking some time apart, physically, emotionally and digitally, seems to be the better method.
#5 How NOT to get over an ex. Respondents reported "talking it through with the ex," "eating" and "having ex sex" as the least effective means of moving on from a relationship. Noted!
So what do you say? Are you ready to give yourself a "break-over" and break up with your ex? Get started at breakupwithyourex.com.
Written by Kait Smith for YourTango.com.
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*Conducted on YourTango.com, Facebook.com/YourTango and SurveyMonkey.com, the survey questioned a national sample of 1,329 people. Polling took place over December 21, 2011 - January 9, 2012.
