5 Tips For a Hot Summer Romance
'Tis the season for a summer fling! Plus: the number ONE sex move you need to learn this summer.
-Amber Madison, BettyConfidential.com
Bust out the mini skirts ladies, because the heat is on! You've worked hard this year, and honey, you deserve a hot summer fling. Not sure how to get yours? Read on.
1. Come Out of Hibernation.
The sun is shining, patios are open, and the guys are out in force. Summer means even the biggest of homebodies is out and about-so if you're looking to meet a new guy, 'tis the season. Go for that after-work drink with your co-workers, grab tickets to a baseball game, join that kickball league, volleyball team, Frisbee club, or hit up some summer concerts.
The hardest thing about dating is meeting people you like. But the more guys you, er, expose yourself to, the more likely you will find one who's worth your while. So what are you waiting for? Get out there!
2. Be Bold.
Drowning yourself in a sea of men is going to do no good if you're too shy to talk them. See a cute guy? Don't just pine over him, go make conversation. What should you say? Whatever you want. Offer to buy him a drink, ask how he heard about the band, how long he's lived in your city, what team he's rooting for …or tell him you like his jersey, his hat, his shirt, his shoes, his face, whatever! Guys like when girls hit on them…so much so, that it probably doesn't matter what you say. Just say something.
Not only does it show a guy you're confident, but more basically, guys are just sick of doing all the work. Sure, hitting on a guy can be scary. But seriously, what's the worst that can happen? He doesn't seem into it? Then onto the next one. Don't make the mistake of waiting around for something great to fall into your lap, go out and get it! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
3. Make Summer Fridays "Me Days."
Many companies cut back hours in the summer. Maybe you get Fridays off, have some half days, or at the very least are planning on taking a summer vacay. When you do get that much needed time off, use it to focus on yourself. Especially if you're in a relationship, nothing sucks away the passion like too much time spent ignoring your needs. Take time to do the things that make you feel good, relaxed, and sexy. Whether that means buying a new dress, getting a mani/pedi, taking a yoga class, going for a run, or catching up on an old hobby.
Even if you're not in a relationship, you deserve that me time too. You're not going to be attracting guys if you're stressed out, feel run down, or don't feel like you're taking good care of yourself. Take care of yourself first, and you will attract a guy who will be begging to take care of you too.
4. Heat It Up In Bed!
Speaking of taking care of yourself, declare this summer YOUR summer of sex. As women, too much of our sexual energy gets focused on a guy. What makes him feel good, what sex moves does he like, not like, what obscure new facts can we learn about his penis? Here is the reality: he probably has plenty of orgasms no matter what moves you pull. You (if you're like many women) may not.
So here's the one sex move you need to learn this summer: what gets you off? Spend time exploring your body, and learning exactly what types of actions get you to the Big O. Then, if he's your boyfriend, your new hook-up, or even a one-night stand, SHOW HIM. That's right. Your sexual pleasure is a priority, and if he's not doing it right (gently and politely) show him what he could do better.
5. Don't Be TOO Carefree Between The Sheets.
For sex to be truly fun, you do need to maintain some sense of responsibility. Just because you're feeling footloose and fancy-free doesn't mean you should be taking home some guy you barely know and in truth aren't that into. If you've had a few too many mojitos, your best bet is to exchange numbers and make a decision about him when you're more clear-headed. If you're having sex (or there's ANY chance you might), be on a consistent form or contraception, and always have condoms on hand as well. And if you get caught up in the spirit of the season and something happens that you weren't planning on, know that you have the option of Plan B One Step™, the one-pill emergency contraception that anyone 17 or older can buy over-the-counter (without a prescription). If taken within 72 hours it can significantly reduce your chances of unplanned pregnancy, but the sooner you take it, the better it works-so if you got swept up in the moment last night, don't delay, take action.
There are many risks you should take this summer: signing up for a sports league, hitting on that hottie, or going on an impromptu road trip after calling in "sick." But sleeping with the wrong guy, putting yourself at risk for STDs or an unplanned pregnancy … those don't make the cut.
So have fun this summer, safely, and with any luck you'll have an awesome summer romance you can take with you into fall!
Amber Madison is the author of Hooking Up: A Girl's All-Out Guide to Sex and Sexuality, and is the sex columnist for Seventeen Magazine.
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