How to Handle Disrepect
Posted by Elle Cameron for BounceBack.com
Often times, it's the people who we love the most who hurt us the worst. None such a statement could be so true as when applied to those with whom we are romantically involved with. Here's a 5-step plan for responding to a partner's disrespectful words or behavior:
1. Acknowledge that there has been disrespect
When a partner is disrespectful, we may initially be in denial. For a plethora of reasons, whether it's because of embarrassment, deep sadness or utter disbelief, we are inclined to reject the reality of a negative tone or action aimed at us.
Whatever the reason, it's necessary to first be honest about the disrespect. It's helpful to first make a statement of fact (i.e. My husband/wife disrespected me.) followed by an honest emotion about the statement (i.e. His/her words hurt.).
2. Peel back some layers!
Okay, before this sounds like a Dr. Phil moment, peeling back layers of emotion does not have to be an altogether daunting or scary task. Depending on the degree of hurt or disrespect, we may have more or less emotions tied to the particular negative word or action. Talking about how we feel is do-able. Think about the "why (i.e. Why did my partner's words hurt?).
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3. Be honest with your partner
Have an open, honest conversation with your companion about your feelings over a certain harsh word or action. Communication is key to solving disagreements and fights. It helps the both of you see where the other is coming from. But remember, talk - dont yell.
Related: Say What You Mean & Why That's Important
Listen as much as you're speaking to your partner about your feelings. Be receptive to your partner's point of view, while also confident in your own position.
5. Make Requests
At the outset of an honest conversation of feeling disregarded, make requests to your companion or come to a fair agreement. For example, "I need you to think about how [blank] makes me feel when you do/say [blank]" or "Let's promise to breathe first, speak clearly and be less passive-aggressive."
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Elle Cameron is a professional writer based out of the greater New York City Area. Ella holds a Bachelor of Arts in print communications from Arcadia University and can write expansively on a wide range of topics. Send Elle an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.