6 Kissing Dos and Don'ts

Healthy SELF, SELF Magazine

I

f you wanna know ... if he loves you so, it's in his kiss! Good advice -- but what's the secret to the sexiest smooch?
We asked sex and relationships counselor Ian Kerner, PhD, founder of GoodInBed.com and co-author with actress Lisa Rinna of The Big, Fun, Sexy Sex Book (Gallery Books Hardcover; May, 2012), to give us his top tips for unforgettable kisses. Here are his six "rules" to follow:

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1. Do ... think about the attitude behind your kiss. "The brain is the biggest sex organ, so think about the emotion and the feeling you want to convey," says Kerner. "A kiss can be very tender and loving, it can be passionate, it can be a little naughty or teasing."

2. Do ... consider the locale in which you're smooching. "There's something called the Excitation Transfer Theory that says if you do something exciting in an exciting place, that feeling is transferable," says Kerner. Ergo -- think about giving your honey a kiss in public, a kiss on top of a skyscraper or a kiss on a crowded dance floor. As Kerner says, "All of that is part of the kiss!"

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3. Do ... think about sound effects. Kerner says, "A kiss combined with a little bit of panting or a hot, sexy word or two, or a kiss whispered into his ear can be very exciting!"

4. Do -- or don't -- wear lipstick! Either way is good, says Kerner. "The mouth is an erogenous zone, and lipstick serves the purpose of flirting or heightening arousal," he says. Sometimes, though, too much lipstick can be a turnoff. "In the end, men love it when a woman looks sexy," says Kerner, "but what's really a turn-on is when you're just being yourself and at your most natural."

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5. Don't ... forget whom you're kissing. You know what you like; make sure to explore what your partner likes, too. Some people might love deep French kissing, some might love a tongue in the ear -- and some may not.

6. Don't ... try too hard. "Kisses should feel natural, genuine and connected to and part of the moment you're in, whether it's a passionate moment or a tender moment," says Kerner. Don't try to be a "fantastic kisser" or a "passionate kisser" -- it can be a turnoff if your kiss feels fake or forced. Instead, enjoy the moment, and he will, too.


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