7 Relationship Lessons You Never Really Wanted to Learn

Relationship lessons learned from breakupsRelationship lessons learned from breakupsWe've all been there. It's that painful breakup. It's the sobbing at 2 a.m., after a yelling match over the phone to end it all. Or, it's the breakup that didn't even hurt a little. It's the moving on; it's the sunrise that comes months after the end. It's the realization that you need to focus on yourself, that you pushed away friends, or that your parents were actually right. You didn't want to learn these relationship lessons, but you did. But, most likely, you're better off for it. We asked Shine readers to share their relationship lessons they never really wanted to learn:

Men cry - "I'm modern and liberated and I totally dig sensitive guys, but I was once traumatized by a breakup that dissolved into blubbering, wailing, ugly tears. Outside on the sidewalk. In front of The Cheesecake Factory. Oh, and did I mention my eyes were totally dry? Not cool, my friend, not cool." -- Jennifer Prugh Moffitt, "5 Relationship Lessons I Learned from My Exes"

Parents are usually right
- "I distinctly remember standing in my parents' kitchen yelling 'but I love him,' as they told me why my high school boyfriend wasn't right for me. I told them they were wrong, and he was my soul mate. Trying long-distance finally broke us up, but my dad showed me Jeff's arrest record a couple years later, and I realized my parents were right all along. My mom still calls me every time he gets arrested to rub it in." -- Dayna Davis, "Five Relationship Lessons I Never Wanted to Learn"

Looks aren't everything
- "I don't know if it's because I read so many romance novels when I was younger, but when I met my guy, I melted under the penetrating gaze of his onyx eyes. Once he flashed that toothy grin my way, he had me hooked. I was a writhing heap of feminine hormones gone awry over something as shallow as his perfectly sculpted biceps. Later, I could hardly believe that such a perfect male specimen would want to be with little old... me?! My illusions shattered when I learned more about his personality, or lack thereof. He wasn't baring into my soul with a penetrating gaze, but rather had been staring at me vacantly." -- Heather Silvey, "Sometimes Mr. White Knight May Not Be Too Bright"

Don't drink the Kool-Aid
- "When my relationship with Mike ended, my dad continually let me know that I 'drank the Kool-Aid.' 'The problem with him,' he would tell me, 'is that he drank his own Kool-Aid.' Simply put, don't believe the lies he feeds." -- Alexa Varano, "Don't Fall for the Sociopath"

What it means to be a widow
- "In 2009, my husband of four years killed himself. I was in shock those first few weeks talking to the police, telling his family, and flying to St. Louis for his funeral. When I arrived back home, I realized how alone I had become. Over the next year I sold the majority of our belongings, I lost our house to the mortgage company, and I had to give up our dogs for adoption. I wish I could go back to college and refuse that first date with the man who became my future husband." -- Shanna Dayton, "Relationship Lessons that I Wish I Didn't Learn"

Keep friends close - "Over the course of my relationship with my ex, I lost many friends. I wasn't able to talk to them, and they were moving on with their lives. I also developed poor relationships with my family because my boyfriend didn't want me to see them, either. My father would always say that he would be there for me no matter what and that you only get one father. He was right. After getting out of my relationship with my ex, I had to mend my relationships with my family members." -- Krystal Weeden, "Six Relationship Regrets"

Breakups shouldn't be easy - "When things finally ended, it was almost too easy. We reached a point where we weren't happy. We spent very little time together which was usually spent fighting. To know that I spent so much time with this person and that the breakup didn't even break my heart a little? That was when I knew it was the right thing to do." -- Leah Muth, "Life Lessons My Ex-Boyfriend Taught Me"

What are the relationship lessons you've learned from your exes?