7 Things You Should NEVER Say to Your Husband

Angry ManAngry ManWhat's good for the gander, is good for the goose, no?

After reading Devan's "14 Things Husbands Shouldn't Say to Wives" post last week, I felt it was only right to serve up the story from the other side of the bed.

First thing you should notice is that while you're being a boss with 14 rules for us, we're a little more laid back, with only 10 stipulations that could set us off.

Related: 14 things you should never say to a woman

So, ladies, here's your medicine, with 7 things you should never say to the man in your life:

Pretty GirlPretty GirlHow do I look? Be honest
Do you really want my honest response? I'll tell you, and chances are you're not going to like it. You're the one reading the fashion magazines, you're the one who knows that cork heels are on trend or whatever. I'm watching sports. If you're happy with what you're wearing, I'm happy with what you're wearing - now let's go out.

GameGameIs the game almost over?
Chances are if you're asking me this, the game has gone on for a long time. It's probably very close, and there is an important play about to happen. You'll know when the game is over because I'll be very happy my team won, or very upset my team lost.

Related: 11 hilarious tips for undressing in front of your lover (circa 1937)

KidsKidsTell us how to look after the kids
We get it, you probably love the kids more than us, but if you're going to go out for the afternoon, or day, or evening with your friends, you have to trust that we know what we're doing. Sure, diapers may get a little fuller, the kitchen may get a little messier, and bedtime might be a little later, but this is how we roll. Let us roll.

FartingFartingTry not to embarrass me
It's called a sense of humor, and farts are funny. Go ahead, pull my finger. See?

Related: 7 things I wish I knew about men before I got married

MenMenWhat time will you be home?
It's not so much the question that you shouldn't ask, but rather the tone you shouldn't use. If you just want to know around what time you should be worried we're dead in a ditch with our boys, fine. If you ask it with a disapproving tone that says "I hate it when you're out with them," then you're just asking for a fight.

Blonde GirlBlonde GirlI'm not your mother
You're right, you're not - but you're sounding an awful lot like her. Marriage is 50/50; we all have our chores. In our house, I cook and do the groceries, and my wife cleans. I don't complain about her not cooking, so she'd better not complain about how I don't do the laundry.

KissingKissingNot tonight
That new show, 7 Days of Sex, starts on Lifetime this week. In it, couples are encouraged to have sex every day for a week to bring them closer together. Rebuffing your mate's advances puts up walls in the relationship.

-By Buzz Bishop
Follow Buzz on Babble

For 3 more things you should never say to your husband, visit Babble!


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