7 Ways to Know You Belong Together
By Brie Schwartz, REDBOOK.
My husband and I disagree on a lot of things: I find Game of Thrones too gory, believe pink should be incorporated into every design scheme, and then there's the real stuff, like the fact that we were brought up practicing different religions, and that we'll have to figure out how to raise our kids. But even with our issues, I know we're meant for each other. How, you ask?
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1. I tell him I don't need him and he ignores me.
There have been countless occasions when I've assured my husband I could handle situations without any of his help--ranging from minor things, like pulling heavy dishes out of the oven (I'm a tad accident-prone) to the bigger events, like visiting my mom in the hospital when she took three too many painkillers. Sure, I would have been fine on my own, but knowing that I had his support, whether I thought I needed it or not, made all the difference. In a solid relationship, you see through the other person's BS when they're trying to be tough.
2. We have compatible insecurities.
Everyone is a little bit insecure. I think someone famous once said that. But you know you're right for each other when you find someone with equal but opposite anxieties. My husband gets embarrassed when I'm too outspoken, and I encourage him to stand up for himself more. Together, we make a semi-normal person.
3. We can turn anything into a date.
Outings should not be restricted to dinners at new restaurants. Putting all of the emphasis on making good conversation is just too much pressure for a guy you've been texting all day. What's left to say by the time the appetizer comes? That's why, whenever possible, we try to think of silly, free things to do that focus the attention on simply being together. Last weekend, for instance, we scoured New York City searching for giant Easter eggs. Yes, we were the only adults on the hunt, but I also think we had the most fun.
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4. We lie to get out of seeing our friends, but never each other.
Do you remember the scene in Knocked Up when Paul Rudd confesses that he's been lying to his wife about having to work just so he can go see Spider-Man alone in the theater? Fibbing to your partner to get some quiet time isn't uncommon, but in the end, my husband and I would rather be with each other than anyone else. That's why we, er, tell half-truths to get out of plans with our friends so we can be home alone on a Saturday night… together.
5. We find ways to keep each other close.
He'll probably be peeved at me for admitting this (sorry, Ben!), but my husband has been known to tote a stuffed animal with him on business trips. I admit that the first time was because I snuck it in his carry-on as a joke, but packing an inanimate friend quickly became a habit. I know he's not actually snuggling the thing, but a good-night text featuring a mini giraffe in some foreign Holiday Inn makes me feel connected to him. And whether he'll admit it or not, I think it goes both ways.
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6. We both find poop jokes funny.
When we first started dating, I had to turn the shower on just to tinkle, but that's not practical or particularly eco-friendly. Now our ability to laugh about our bathroom happenings--not to mention no longer have to end dates abruptly because one of us had too much cheese--has made us closer and, well, healthier.
7. We've created a judgment-free play land.
He's a huge Steven Seagal fanboy. I may or may not have seen every season of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. But we don't have to feel ashamed of our guilty pleasures, because we accept that they're part of each other. And though I'll never really get what he sees in that guy's ponytail, peculiar taste isn't a deal-breaker. When you're right for someone, you can completely let your guard down and admit that you derive a whole lot of pleasure from Bravo marathons. You might have put on an act when you and your guy first met, but at this point, you no longer have to pretend to have seen The Godfather Part II.
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