8 Signs You're in a Marriage of Equals

You know it as well as we do: A well-balanced union is hardly as simple as divvying up chores--though it's certainly nice when he picks up a vacuum. It's about being able to rely on each other in every situation. By Brie Schwartz, REDBOOK.

1. You're each other's biggest cheerleader.

That may not mean hashing out every single thing that went on in your day, but you better believe your fridge is covered with as many of your accomplishments as those of your kids. That marathon bib deserves to be seen!

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2. If you've had an epically bad day and need some pampering accompanied by a pep talk, he'd sit with you at the salon while your nails dried. Not that you'd ask him to, but he would. And it still counts if he complains about the weird fumes.

3. He cooks, you clean, or the other way around. As long as you both get to eat, who cares about traditional gender roles? You've totally overhauled the antiquated notion that women should be like Betty Draper (in season one of Mad Men, at least). You trade off duties, knowing these things ebb and flow. Plus, if your idea of a hearty meal is nuking a Boca burger, it's probably best if you leave the chef skills to him and attack the dishes.

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4. You communicate freely and, most importantly, listen. Even if airing your grievances comes naturally to you, it's not always as easy for men. When it's his turn to pipe up, you're careful not to interrupt, and if you disagree, you do your darnedest not to raise your voice and let him get it out before you chime in.

5. No one-and-done here. When it comes to all things frisky, neither of you is satisfied until the other person is. You derive as much pleasure from pleasing your partner as you do from being pleased.

6. You're genuinely interested in each other's opinions. Even if chatting about Crimea doesn't whet your whistle, you get excited when he's well-informed and passionate about a topic, just like he feels proud of your smarts and insight when you tell him about why the latest Planet Money podcast was so fascinating.

Related: 7 Ways You Know You Belong Together

7. The only his-and-hers distinction in your marriage is on the monogram on your towels. You share everything from closet space to finances to responsibilities like picking the kids up from school. And when a meeting or the flu keeps you from getting to that spelling bee, the other person steps up without resentment because, as trite as it sounds, you're a team.

8. And when your marriage doesn't feel like a 50/50 balance-one of you loses your job, he's going crazy staying at home with the kids, you've been working so late that you barely have time to say hello before passing out-you still support each other, no matter what.


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