‘Epic Fail’: First Date Mistakes

Epic First Date MistakesHave you made larger-than-life mistakes on a first date; mistakes so bad that you can only describe as an "EPIC FAIL?"


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I am not speaking of catastrophic situations, just mistakes that take place during that crucial first date.

Thanks to my sources, I was able to compile a list of 5 Epic First-Date Mistakes just for you.

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Getting the name wrong

It may seem trite, but dear me, it happens way too often.

Once I was out at a cocktail party with a rocket scientist who at the beginning or end of every sentence would say "Em". At first, I thought it was a nervous twitch. But then, as the evening went on, I figured out that he thought my name was Emily and was shortening it with "Em"!

In any case -- dear, babe, sweetie, honey, and proverbial name shortening are NOT definable names. They are terms of endearments, and they are NOT appreciated on first dates! They are only allowed once a certain emotional closeness has been established.

If you really aren't able to remember the name of a girl you met at a party, and only saved her number on your cell as "nice legs Rick's Party," just call Rick and ask him her name! (All true, sadly!) Just do it, already!

Talking about the ex

It is just NOT done. If you are still not over it, if you are still not ready, if you need psychoanalysis to understand what you did wrong or why he/she left you, do NOT start dating. Go out with friends, with relatives, with your dog for all I care. Vent to them, but NEVER with a hypothetical partner.

The men and women you will attract are only the ones who suffer from Florence Nightingale Syndrome. They are the ones who are attracted to pain and will want to save you! This doesn't mean you should let them, of course. Obviously, this doesn't seem like the best reason to start a relationship.

On the other hand, if you are the one who initiated the parting and you feel powerful because of it, do not flaunt it like some sort of gift you possess. That's just tacky.

Bragging

You know what else is tacky? Bragging! About what you have, about what you do, about who you know. Fictional vacations during which anything and everything happens, unrepeatable events that only a chosen few can enjoy, legendary and unattainable acquaintances. If it's a lie, just avoid it.

The distance between telling a lie and being found out is much shorter than what one may think. Were it true (in some rare cases) then save this information for when you know each other better, because otherwise you risk giving the impression of wanting to raise yourself to a level higher than your listener and that is never advisable, especially if the objective is to see that person again.

Complaining

Work is not going well, school is not going well, the weather is horrible, you had an argument with a friend, your family doesn't understand you, life stinks (see also talking about the ex). Oh! How wonderful on a first date! You think?

NEVER complain! It is always better to say more good things and less bad things. We all have our problems and we really don't need to take on the problems of those we don't even know. Especially not on a first date, which is a fun time for getting to know someone new, who may or may not be in your future. Anyone going into a new relationship hopes to improve their own life (obviously, right?) and they are looking for a utopia, not a human nutcase to be reintegrated into their world!

Insisting

Don't do it in any type of situation.

Don't do it with the most basic topic: food. The classic "but why don't you like it?" "Just taste it, come on!" "You don't do like sushi? What's wrong with you? But it's delicious, just try it." Just don't keep pushing a person to do something they don't want to do. Ok, so I know you're thinking, "I don' t understand people who say they don't like something in advance." Well, I don't understand people who drive you crazy in advance!!! If you don't want the person to leave before the date has even really begun, then don't insist. This goes for everything from views on politics to views on science, astrology, religion, and so on.

Listen, it is essential for the date to go well. So listen to the other person's opinions and then draw your own conclusions -- without persuading them to do what you want them to do, especially when the date is about to end.

The phrase "May I come in?" should be abolished. I assure you that if someone wants to invite you in, they will do so.

What do you think is the worst kind of "epic fail" on a first date?

These dating tips are written by our Italian Relationship blogger Chemically Fashionable
Translated by: Gerald Francis ; Reviewed by: Alex Limpach