A Sure-Fire Way to Increase Desire in Your Marriage
Remember when you first fell in love and you felt desire for your partner all the time? Remember when passion felt like part of the bargain and you didn't have to schedule it in, or plan it? Do you ever wonder why you don't feel it anymore every time you look at each other? And even more importantly, do you wish you did?
In most long term relationships, companionship becomes more and more important over time, and if we find a partner we can be friends with who still interests us after many years of partnership, we can consider ourselves lucky.
What Men and Women Do After Sex
But there are two parts to a marriage. One aspect of that primary relationship is companionship; the day to day management of your lives together and the lives of your family members. But the other important piece of a romantic relationship is eroticism. Without eroticism a long term partner can feel like just a roommate. Eroticism is what keeps the relationship vital and awake and makes us feel sexually connected. Working on the eroticism in a relationship is the key element to keeping the relationship vital and alive.
Some couples expect that if they work on the companionship aspect of their relationship the erotic passion will take care of itself. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen that way.
In order to experience companionship and erotic fulfillment, we need to make erotic connection a priority. This will make our companionship easier, and more rewarding.
Try this exercise with your partner. Write down your answers first. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this.
Exercise: Write about the most recent time you had sex with your partner.
Describe in detail what you liked and what you would like more of next time. Read what you wrote to your partner and ask your partner to do the same.
Notice what seemed important to your partner. Was it the same or different than what was important to you? Men and women have different emotional needs, and physically we respond differently during sex. But we are all looking for connection and passion. Talking about desire and what makes you feel passion for your partner can bring you closer to the erotic connection you crave.
Communicate your desires - focus on the erotic in your relationship, and remember what passion feels like.
Tammy Nelson PhD is a Sex and Relationship expert and the author of "Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together" available on her website or on Amazon.com
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