Acknowledging One's Obligation to Be Aware is Not Blaming The Victim!



Looking Out For #1 Is YOUR Responsibility...

The mindset of our nation these days is whenever something bad happens to us we look outward to place all the blame on the person that took advantage of us. If a neutral party even slightly suggests the victim may have unintentionally contributed to placing a bullseye on her/himself there is major uproar from the masses screaming, "Don't blame the victim!"

A Perfect World

In a perfect world we would lead a crime free existence.

A woman could accept a drink from a guy knowing it hasn't been tampered with.

A person could leave keys in their ignition with the car running for several hours without having someone steal their car.

You could go on vacation for a week leaving your front door wide open and expect everything to be as you left it.

One could openly count their money as they walk down any street or alley without worrying someone might rob them.


A man and woman could leave their purse and wallet on a nightclub table while dancing on a crowded floor for several songs knowing their belongings will be waiting for them. Let's face it ladies and gentlemen we don't live in a "perfect world!"

It's up to each of us to look out for ourselves and to take necessary precautions.

Right & Wrong

First of all I'm sure most of us would agree anyone who breaks the law, steals, rapes, or kills another person is wrong. They should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. However this does not absolve us of our responsibility to think before acting, look out for ourselves, or be aware of our surroundings.

Several years ago a coed went to a fraternity party and she drank an awful lot. As the evening went on she got on top of the bar and performed a striptease. She rubbed her breast into the face of several of the guys as she continued to drink. A few hours later she awoke and realized she had been raped. Clearly the men who took advantage of her are in the wrong!


However the mere suggestion that her behavior may have contributed to making her a "target" is usually met with jeers of "Don't blame the victim!"

On several occasions I have heard the following:

" I don't care if a woman walks down the street butt naked no one has the right to rape her!"

My question has always been: "Is it the smart thing to do?"

The truth is no one has "the right" to steal from you, attack you, or kill you! Just because someone doesn't have the right does not mean we should walk around with blinders on ignoring the reality that there are people looking to prey on those they consider to be weak or naïve . No one gives another person "permission" to abuse him or her. It's not so much about Right or Wrong as it is being Safe or Careless.


Pedestrians have "the right of way" and yet we teach children to look both ways before crossing the street. Based upon the analogy of the woman walking down the street butt naked one could also argue you should be able to walk across the street without looking both ways or worrying about getting hit by a car because you have the right of way. It is possible to be "dead right ".

There is no 100% effective way to avoid being hurt or taken advantage of.
Under the best of circumstances bad things will happen to good people.
However if we use commonsense, be aware of our surroundings, allow others to "earn our trust" before opening up ourselves we can reduce the odds of becoming a victim. I'm not suggesting we live a life of paranoia but by the same token let's not bury our heads in the sand.
Our goal is to reduce the odds of being hurt.

Age or maturity has very little bearing as can be attested by the recent incident involving the cast from the Orange County Wives television show.

"He sat next to Tamra and Peggy and said, "I have a special drink for you two ladies."

Stay alert because your life is too important to go on autopilot.

No one is in a position to look after your interest better than you!

"Knowledge is being aware that fire can burn; wisdom is remembering the blister"