Ah, the perils of dating the "assertive" man

This is a phone message from perhaps the douchiest dude in the world. Yet, why does it sound so damn familiar?

"The back story on this is that a girl named Olga was out with her friends in the Marina district of San Francisco (known for being a popular hang out for douches), and she talked to this guy named Dmitri for all of two minutes. Then she gave him her card and said 'give me a call.' The above is the messages he left. Listen to the whole thing, it just keeps getting better and better. I won't even tell you my favorite parts because i don't want to ruin anything. Just listen."--Holytaco