Are You a Good Wife?

By GalTime Relationship Diva Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D.

Question: I love my husband with all my heart, but I feel like I'm not a great wife a lot of the time. I'm busy with work, busy with the kids...I just don't have time sometimes to prioritize my great husband. How can I balance it all and how can I know if I'm a good wife or not?

Answer: As a busy working wife and mom, do you occasionally hear a doubting voice in the back of your mind: "Am I a good enough wife?" Modern day women feel pulled in so many directions, trying to be everything to everyone. And frankly, with kids and bosses to keep happy, it's not uncommon for your husband to get the short end of the stick. After all, there is only so much time and energy to go around.

So, what to do with that nagging doubt? Ask! Men are typically easy to please and simply checking in and letting them know you wish you had more time and energy is enough to help them feel seen and appreciated.

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So go ahead and have a heart to heart. Chances are, he sometimes wonders if he's a good enough husband and father. By sharing your fears together, you'll create a sense of teamwork, which fosters the closeness that's been missing.

Then, together, make a small commitment to carve out special couples-only time during your hectic week. Even 15 minutes of focused attention several times a week can bring the sparkle back to a dulling relationship, making each of you feel cherished.

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Go one step further and pick a special ritual that will help you feel closer, making the most of a mini-get-away. For example, my husband and I enjoy taking a shower together at the end of most weekday nights. It may be only 10 minutes, but we look forward to that time to connect about whatever is on our minds. And knowing that we can expect that bonding space makes accepting his long working hours easier, because we can trust we'll have a little cocoon of time to make each other a priority.

What ritual would be meaningful for you and your partner? By committing to that protected time, you can ensure that your roles of wife and husband remain the feel-good partnership you envisioned when you said, "I do."

Do you have any tips to offer? Can you relate to our reader?

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