Argument Settled: Who Should Pay for Dinner?
By Kayla Miller, REDBOOK
In today's modern times, it's becoming more common for couples to go Dutch treat on dates rather than the guy paying for everything. However, some still think the chivalrous gentleman should exist and pick up the dinner tab every time. Engaged couple Kyle and Courtney had the same argument: Courtney wanted to go out to dinner while Kyle preferred to save money by staying in. Even though Kyle finally gave in and agreed to go out, Courtney still thought he should foot the bill. Kyle was willing to split it 50/50, but Courtney was already under the assumption that his money was her money so it didn't matter. So we asked, who's right in this situation?
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64 percent of you sided with Kyle. After all, it's not as if he asked her to pay for the entire meal. On the other hand, 35 percent took Courtney's side. Since the couple has already been engaged for six months, it's time they start combining their funds.
Reader G.G. said, "Stressing about who pays just ruins the entire night. Kyle sounds like the type of guy who stops caring about a woman after he's got her in his net. He needs to quit being so stingy." Reader Stef J. shot back, "Going Dutch is inappropriate for an engaged or married couple, but they can take turns treating each other once in a while. What's so hard about that? She should treat this time since it was her idea."
However, most readers came to a consensus that there was a deeper issue here-Kyle and Courtney need to have the money talk if they want to have a successful marriage.
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Our It's Complicated advice columnist Karen Karbo also weighed in: "This is a great chance for Kyle and Courtney to start talking about their issues surrounding money-the biggest thing married couples argue about. Both of them need to know what's really going on behind their desires: Does Courtney want to go out because she can't bear to cook and eat another chicken breast? Or does she want to go out simply for the fun of being on a date? Does Kyle want to stay in because he genuinely wants to save money, or is he pushing back against Courtney's somewhat princess-like assumption that his money is her money to be spent how she sees fit? Once they figure out what's really going on, they can work out a compromise. If Courtney's sick of cooking, maybe Kyle can be on dinner duty a few nights a week. If she wants to go out, maybe she can honor Kyle's frugality by finding a place that's not too expensive, or they can split the check. He needs to realize that it's important for her to go out; she needs to respect his money. Then they need to budget x number of dollars a month for going out and stick to it!"
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