Back in the Dating Game: Is Juggling Dates a Good Idea?
By Erica Conte for BounceBack.com
The dating culture has certainly changed over the years. 'Hooking up' is now part of the equation, which allows people to enter into casual, non-committal relationships with only the most subtle potential of a future. However, if you've just been through a breakup or divorce and you're getting back in the dating game, perhaps jumping full force into an exclusive relationship isn't the smartest move.
If you're not looking for a partner immediately, or have not yet found someone you'd like to be your partner, then dating around is the best way to get out there and meet other people. The tricky thing here is, what if you're interested in multiple people? Just because you are casually dating someone does not mean you are exclusive, but it's important to understand there are both good and bad ways to go about 'juggling' dates.
Related: Why Is "Hard to Get" So Hard? Why We Love and Hate the Dating Chase
First of all, it is exciting that there is more than one person you are interested in because this helps formulate what you want to find in someone that goes beyond a 'hooking up' relationship. In order to do this, you must also understand and realize that the person you are seeing may very well be 'juggling' also. Having a quiet mutual understanding about this will eliminate pressure during your dates, enabling you both to enjoy the current company versus thinking about the other options out there.
Related: 3 Simple Rules for Winning the Multi-Player Dating Game
Also, considering you are seeing multiple people, these people are most likely contacting you in order for these dates to take place. There's nothing wrong with calling/texting your date and creating a good dialogue when you're apart. What is wrong about this equation is contacting this date while you're out with someone else. When it comes to 'juggling', even though you may not be committed to someone at the moment, you do need to be committed to the moments you have with them. How will you get to know Henry on your date if John keeps texting you about your day?
Related: The Frequency Factor: Communication During Early Dating
Committing to the moment will enable you to enjoy juggling because you are then actually getting to know these people which will ultimately result in no longer wanting to juggle! Enjoy the attention, but also enjoy the person with whom you're out, without worrying what Date 1 or Date 3 is doing later that night. Dating multiple people is all about playing fair and being honest about what you want. If you're not doing either of them, then juggling isn't right for you or right now.
Related: The 8 Rules of Text Messaging in Relationships
The point of going on multiple dates is not meant to feed your ego or stress you out. Although the word "juggling" doesn't have the greatest connotation, it's definitely the right approach for people back in the dating pool who just want to get to know people. It is what you make of it, for you have control over it the whole time.
Have you ever tried dating more than one person at a time? Do you think it's better to date multiple people when you're just getting back out there?
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