The Best Sex Advice for Getting Pregnant

Is there some truth to those old wives' tales after all? By Annie Daly, REDBOOK.


Chances are, you've Googled a version of "What are the best sex positions for conceiving?" or, more explicitly, "What are the best sex positions for conceiving a boy or a girl?". What did you find? Probably a bunch of mixed messages. Some say that doing it in a certain position will up your chances of getting pregnant or of conceiving a specific gender. Others claim it's a giant myth.

Let the confusion end right now. "Although there aren't any scientific studies to prove the theory, there's definitely validity to both ideas," says Jennifer Berman, M.D., an urologist, sexual health expert, and recurring cohost of The Doctors.

Related: The Top 10 Complaints from Unhappy Husbands

In order to get pregnant, sperm needs to enter the vagina and reach the cervix--and there are things a woman can do to at least enhance the possibility that it will, says Berman. Start by having sex in missionary position. "It allows for the deepest possible penetration, which in turn means that he's able to deposit his sperm closer to the cervix than he'd be able to in any other position."

A second option: Do it doggy style. Though not as effective as missionary in terms of sperm-cervix proximity, it still gets the two closer than other positions do. "In the doggy-style position, a woman's cervix is elevated up, meaning a man's penis is able to enter straight back into her vagina and penetrate deeply," says Berman. This ups the probability that his sperm will reach her cervix.

Related: 7 Signs Divorced Couples Say They Missed

Positions aside, try lying on your back with a pillow under your butt during or immediately after sex--and remain like that for at least half an hour after you're finished. "This allows sperm to drift back naturally into the cervix," says Berman. Confused? Think of it this way: Your vagina is like an accordion. (We know, kind of weird, but bear with us.) It's easy for sperm to get caught in its folds, and elevating your pelvis at an angle makes it easier for them to glide straight back to your cervix. Another similar option: After sex, lie on your back and lift your feet up in the air, almost like your legs are up against an imaginary wall.

All four of these tricks may also up your chances of conceiving a girl. And on the flip side, positions in which the woman is on top may enhance the probability of having a boy. Again, there isn't any scientific evidence to back this info up, but some people believe that the theory could be supported by a simple concept: how long sperm carrying "x" and "y" chromosomes survive in your body.

"We know that sperm carrying the 'x' chromosomes move more slowly and survive longer in the vaginal canal than sperm carrying the 'y' chromosome, which move more quickly," says Holly Phillips, M.D., an internist in New York City and medical contributor for CBS News. "For that reason, some people believe that positions that put the sperm in closer contact with the cervix will increase the chances of having a boy, while positions that increase the distance between the cervix and sperm will increase the chances of having a girl."

Related: 7 Ways You KNOW You Belong Together

Others claim that when a woman orgasms during sex, the vagina becomes more alkaline, increasing the chances of conceiving a boy. By similar logic that alkaline environments are best for boys and acidic ones for girls, those who want to have a girl will try eating calcium- and magnesium-rich foods such as nuts, leafy greens, beans, and dairy. If it's a boy they desire, foods high in salt and potassium, like bananas, potatoes, and smoked salmon could be useful.

But Phillips is still skeptical. "I've talked to several people who swear by these methods, but I'm not convinced, because they had a nearly 50 percent chance of conceiving the gender of their choice anyway," she says. In other words, when it comes down to it, all of the theories are still just speculation--and ultimately, the only indisputable fact is that there is no proven truth.

Plus, the best way to up your chances of getting pregnant may have nothing to with position, but instead with reducing stress levels, says Phillips. "Stress creates a cascade of hormones that directly impact your fertility. Some studies have shown it can lower your chances of getting pregnant by up to 30 percent."

We know stress-free sex is much easier said than done (Kids! Job! Chores! Life!), but it's worth trying. Get your chores out of the way, relax with a hot bath, and ask your husband for an extra-long massage. And perhaps simplest of all, take a couple deep breaths to really get into the moment. A 2013 University of California Davis study published in the journal Health Psychology found that being mindful decreases your stress hormone cortisol--meaning your baby-making potential that night shoots up.


More from REDBOOK
25 Reasons Why Married Sex Is Better

10 Things that Drive Men Completely Insane About Being Married
Foreplay Moves All Men Secretly Crave
20 Reasons Why We Wouldn't Trade Marriage for Dating in Our 20s