My Boyfriend Always Picks Fights in Public. How Can I Get Him to Save the Bickering Till Later?

SELF's mental health expert, Dr. Catherine Birndorf, M.D., is here to help with all your life and relationship problems.
by SELF Staffers

First, defuse the situation in the moment. Say: "This is not a conversation I'm going to have right now," then agree on a time to revisit the topic when you're not in danger of ending up on YouTube. Later, tell him how his fighting style makes you feel. Don't lay into him, which can put him on the defensive -- focus on your experience of feeling embarrassed. He might not realize he's doing it... or it could be intentional.

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Maybe he thinks you don't take him seriously in private, or maybe he's capitalizing on the fact that a public tiff makes you squirm and he knows he can win. If he continues to do it, it's OK to get up and take a bathroom break or leave the room. It will send the message that you're not willing to discuss this around others.

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