Brad Pitt’s Most Annoying Revelation: It’s Not About Jen

Oh Brad, last week you had our hearts puffed up with your moving tribute to partner Angelina Jolie after she revealed she underwent a double mastectomy to lower her risk of cancer. This week, we feel like a flaccid, old balloon: the air just leaked out of our regard, "pssssst."

Speaking with Esquire, the actor did perform a backhanded Aniston diss that has become something of a trademark interview technique: "I spent years f***ing off. But then I got burnt out and felt that I was wasting my opportunity. It was a conscious change. This was about a decade ago. It was an epiphany…" i.e. his marriage to Aniston was a waste. Yes, yes, we know, you hung around the Malibu house smoking pot, drinking Margaritas, and eating lots of guac. Actually sounds fun.

But the really annoying thing about the interview is that Pitt reveals what a narcissist he is and then brushes it off with an imagined medical condition. "So many people hate me because they think I'm disrespecting them," said Pitt. "So I swear to God, I took one year where I just said, this year, I'm just going to cop to it and say to people, 'Okay, where did we meet?' But it just got worse. People were more offended....You get this thing, like, 'You're being egotistical. You're being conceited.' But it's a mystery to me, man. I can't grasp a face and yet I come from such a design/aesthetic point of view. I am going to get it tested."

What he's going to get "tested" for is prosopagnosia, a condition in which people can't recognize faces, even of a family member and in extreme cases, their own. We suspect Pitt knows every nook and cranny of his own face. And we aren't quite sure what qualifies him as a Design God besides the fact he likes to talk about decorating his many houses and wears big, chunky glasses. As for the "prosopagnosia?" Maybe all that admitted weed he's admitted to smoking did have an affect.