Can I date my one-night stands? You decide.

Em and Lo
Getty Images
Getty Images


Our inbox is overflowing and we'll never get to all the lonely hearts, so each week, one reader's fate will be left up to the masses.

Answer this reader's question in the comments.

Hey girls!

I've recently become single after dating a guy for three and a half years. So far, I'm really enjoying my new single status. I've always been a flirty chick, and now the single girl in me is rejoicing! So, I've had a couple of one-night stands. They were with these really cool, interesting and sweet guys, and my mind was blown each time. (Ten Excellent Reasons to Be Single Right Now)

The problem is, that I always want more from these hook-ups. Of course, I'm not expecting love, but I'm a real romantic at heart and I guess I fall in love much, much too quickly. After each hookup, I've had trouble keeping my mind off these guys, fantasizing about them, stalking them on Facebook, trying to dig up details from mutual friends. It's just that each time I've given myself to these guys, it's because I find them both physically and mentally attractive. That's the reason why I want to keep up some sort of rapport, relationship, whatever you call it, post-hook up. I want these guys to dig me for my brain, my personality and sincerity, as well as the hot-hot-hot bump 'n' grind! (Women have more regrets than men after a one-night stand. Find out why)

I've got a few questions, mostly about maintaining my dignity:

1. What's the best way to diffuse the cringing awkwardness in the mornings? Perhaps joke about it the night before? Leave as quickly as possible? With these two guys, I always find myself wanting to spend the day with them (at least brunch and a cuddle) but they never ask! (It's embarrassing to admit, but it's the truth!)

2. What is the "etiquette" about asking to see the guy again later? Is it improper for the lady to ask? Can I be bold and take him for a "date"? How can I gauge what he wants?

3. If I want him to call me back, ask to see me again, to keep me on his mind--what is the best method to achieve this? Play hard-to-get? Play it forward and direct?

Or, should I be asking myself a completely different set of questions? If I want a guy to dig me for more than the bootay, maybe I've got to stop putting out so quickly? I don't feel "sluttish" because I am in control of the situations, and it's not that I bang anything that walks--I'm just having the fun I was depriving myself of for so many years. But what am I doing wrong? And what can I do better??

--Cuddle Monster

Related:Love advice from dating coaches

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