Should You Channel Your Inner Sadie Hawkins?
By Tanni Deb for Cupid's Pulse
In the 1934 classic comic strip "Li'l Abner," Al Capp wrote about a lady named Sadie Hawkins who was frantic about the length of time she was waiting for suitors to approach her. When Sadie turned 35 years old, her father also became quite concerned and took it upon himself to find his daughter a mate.
So, he announced a "Sadie Hawkins Day" and summoned every eligible bachelor in town to a foot race. The foot race began with the men running as soon as they heard the first gunshot. A second gunshot was the signal for Sadie to run and the first man she caught would become her husband. By 1952, Sadie Hawkins Day was celebrated at 40,000 venues in the form of a dance where women asked men out.
More than 50 years have passed, and many women still wonder if it's acceptable to ask out a man. If you're a gal who is thinking of making the first move, know the pros and cons of the Sadie Hawkins scenario:
Why it Turns Him On:
1. Exudes Confidence: Many men have difficulty figuring out if a woman is interested because they don't have the courage to approach her. Asking a guy out shows how confident and comfortable you are in your own skin and many men love a secure woman. He'll feel a lot less pressure being around you and it sets you apart from the others.
2. Flatters His Ego: When a woman strikes up a conversation with a man she likes, it can be flattering to him. After all, men are expected to be the gender to take charge. When you make the first move, it's a compliment to his psyche and often boosts his ego. This is a great way to get his attention. If your approaching him first seems to make him happy, he will credit that good feeling to you.
3. Demonstrates Sincerity: Having the courage to approach a man and directly ask him out shows a guy that you're serious about getting to know him. Men realize that it's not the norm for a woman to approach them and they know the difficulty of rejection. So, when the role is reversed, it makes him feel warm inside.
Related: How to Master Being in a Relationship
Why it Turns Him Off:
1. Feels Desperate: Some men think that a woman who makes the first move is desperate. They may even begin to wonder if there's something wrong with her or if she's after something more. It's assumed that if a man is interested in a woman and thinks that she's worth it, he'll ask her out himself.
2. Sends a Bad Message: Some guys label a woman easy. He assumes that she's looking for a fling or one-night stand if she asks him out. The guys who are not interested in getting serious may take the offer to go on a date in hopes of something more, while the men looking for a serious relationship may feel awkward about the woman's forthright approach and never take things any further.
Related: Find Out Why You're Single
3. Takes Away the Challenge: Most guys love a challenge. They enjoy trying to win a woman over, especially if she's not easy to get. Men are attracted to chasing after what they want. So when a woman asks a man out, the challenge is over. The worst case scenario: if a man really loves the thrill of the hunt, he might reject the woman's offer…even if he's initially interested in her.
It can be downright frightening for a woman to make that first move but sometimes you just can't let destiny dictate a relationship. There are many men out there who would love for a woman to approach them. So, if you have the urge to get to know someone better, push the gender stereotypes aside and go for it. If the guy rejects your offer, he probably wasn't right for you anyway.
