Clicking with Someone New After a Breakup
Posted by Olga Melman for BounceBack.com
"You need to laugh at everything. That way, you will keep the distance from events and you will be able to move on."
Are you ready to move on? You may have had something I call a "special connection" or "magic". So how do you click with someone new knowing that what you had with your ex cannot, or could never, be repeated?
A special connection is something only you and your significant other share. It might be the first place you went out that was amazing or it might be the funny little things your partner does that make only you laugh. You might both love the same music or find similar things interesting. Regardless, you will have to let go of all of that to make room for someone new to share experiences with.
Related: How Quickly Should You Move on From a Breakup?
You may never find the same magic again. Yes, this may be sad and a bit discomforting, however, do not lose hope. Things happen for a reason and when the time is right, you will know. It's best to keep dating and to keep your options open.
Don't chase love. Instead, be honest and open-minded. You never know when it can come walking through your door. Yes, magic is hard to find and you may be upset that you lost it, but it doesn't mean that it's impossible to have again.
Heard any good jokes lately? Learn to laugh! The magic in a relationship is difficult to fix or replace. You might want to shift gears, and instead of focusing on the past, concentrate on the future: YOUR future. To gain perspective, laughter might be the best medicine. By laughing at everything, you can keep the past in the past and maintain your distance from special times and moments.
I often find laughter refreshing and soothing. It gives us a new perspective and allows us to let go instead of clench on to memories and the comfort of the past relationship. With this attitude, we can approach and welcome new things in our life.
Related: Find Love When You Aren't Looking
From my own experience, I can honestly say it's better to move on and continue dating. I was locked in a relationship I thought was special and magical only to find myself frustrated and disappointed. Once I freed myself from the past, I found happiness once again. The magic faded and the special moments became much more rare. I realized that this was something I created. The magic was in my mind and I had the power to recreate it again with someone else.
Open yourself up to new possibilities. Your future is what you make of it. So instead of spending time dwelling on your first kiss with your ex, or the favorite sweater they might have given you, move on to planning your next date with someone new. You may find that you share even more things in common and that your time together is even more special. How cool would it be to find someone else to click with after the magic of the past has died?
I often find myself laughing in awkward situations. It sort of deflates the buildup of discomfort and pressure. I am not asking you to place yourself in an awkward situation or think of your new dating life as unwieldy, though it may be tricky. Just open yourself up and learn to laugh and have more fun with it. An easygoing, simple approach might be just what is called for at this time. So relax and ease into your date with a smile!
You are embracing a new opportunity with each new date you go on. There is a reason why you lost your previous "magic". If you can let go of the past and free yourself to accept your future, you might just find what you are looking for!
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BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.
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