College Confessional: The naked truth about male bonding

Getty Images
Getty Images


This week, our intern Maddie Phillips, a senior at SUNY Oswego, discovers another unusual male phenomenon:



Until recently, I thought straight-male bonding in college consisted of video games, flag football behind Lee Hall, heated debates about who drank more over the weekend, and flatulence competitions. However, there's a new -- or rather, new-to-me -- brand of male bonding out there: guys watching porn together. Let me rephrase that: GUYS WATCHING PORN TOGETHER?!? (Video: Do you watch porn?)

That's what a dear fraternity friend casually disclosed to me a few weeks ago. My jaw dropped in confusion and curiosity. So, what's a naturally inquisitive young lady supposed to do with a lead like this? Well, I set off to do a bit of very unscientific research on the topic. Being an over-achiever who's involved almost to the point of nervous breakdown gives me an eclectic group of guy friends -- geeks, jocks, artsy-fartsy types, would-be politicians, fellow keg standers -- whom I can grill on their socio-sexual tendencies heretofore unknown to me.

The findings? Almost all of the straight guys I asked about the topic had some kind of experience watching porn with at least one other guy. Which begs the questions: Why exactly would you want to get a boner in front of your friends? And if you get said boner, do you rub it out right there out in front of them?!...(Have you ever wondered if your boyfriend masturbates too much?)


The answer: Well, it's not really like that. Unless my guy friends were too uncomfortable to tell me the hard-core, homoerotic truth (which I'd like to believe is the REAL story), the college male bonding porn scene is just for laughs. Apparently some guys get REALLY excited when they find new funny/absurd/outrageous porn that they can share with their friends the way I share hilarious cat photos with my mother. Porn that involves animals, outrageous story lines or ridiculous dialogue that they can quote to each other later is what usually makes the cut. And apparently, upon a group viewing, giggles abound.

Now, while I'm sure the occasional accidental boner might, um, pop up here and there (after all, this IS dirty, dirty sex we're talking about), none of my guys would admit to it. In fact, an emphatic "NO!?!" was the general response. Methinks thou doth protest too much. Or, I guess it could have something to do with the fact that these sessions are usually short lived -- more of a "Hey dude come check out this crazy website" rather than a "Hey dude are you ready for tonight? I'll bring the KY if you bring the box of horse porn. Ted? Oh yeah, he'll be there."

Is Masturbating to Porn Cheating?


From what I gather, as much as it seems to be "understood" between roommates that masturbation occurs in the early morning before the other wakes up, in the shower, or while the roommate is out, it is also understood that this invitation to watch a few moments of silly porn does not extend to your extension.

Related: 25 nosy questions answered by real men.

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