Does a Man's Size & Shape Matter?

byScrewingTheRules Dating Coach & Flirting Expert Laurel House

Steve Hansen- Photographer
Steve Hansen- Photographer

I'm sick of the judginess around penis size. And it's not just women who have these perceptions about what's good, bad, and best. Guys can be brutal to each other when it comes to how big their package is. Before I take the topic head on, let me just quickly say that bigger isn't always better. In fact, sometimes small is best.

Let me also say that while stereotypes are generally seeded in truth, there are exceptions to the rule. Not all Asian men have small penises. Not all African American men are well hung. Not all men with small feet and small hands are equally downsized in the dick department. Not all bigfoots have a third leg.

Similar to women, penises have their own personalities- regardless of size and shape. Sure there are stereotypes and assumptions, but I know some seriously big-boobed, perfect bodied blonde chicks who aren't more fun and couldn't care less about sex, and some majorly mousy brunettes who have a wild streak like you've never seen!
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No, I don't believe that blondes are more fun just because they are blonde, especially in bed. (BTW, I am a blonde, and I have been a brunette). In fact, I have heard more stories from men about blondes, or pretty girls in general, who are the worst lays they have ever had because they just lie there like a dead fish, putting all of their eggs into their good looks to get the guy off, totally uninterested technique, inner clenching at the right times, or even faking a few sounds for effect. They literally just lay there "looking pretty."

So back to penises… same goes. Big, fat, long, straight, curved, thin… any one of them can be good in bed if the proper technique is applied.

Let's compare the good and the bad of some:

THE BURRITO: Some guys who have burritos present their package like a "ta-da!" They pull their gigantic slab of meat out of their jeans not realizing the instant fear that they are inducing in their soon-to-be partner's mind as she wonders "could this thing rip me in half?" and suddenly she remembers that she forgot to feed her dog as she jumps off the bed, hurriedly throws on her clothes, and flies out the door, all the while he lies there stunned, his burrito situated on his stomach looking up at him. STILL, some women love the XXL length and girth.

Burrito
Burrito

The Good: It fills you up completely, creating major pressure and stimulation in all areas.

The Bad: The guy may be overly proud of his big guy, making it so that he can be too aggressive with it and forgetting that, like taffy, vaginas need some time to warm up and stretch out in order to avoid tearing. It can be so big that it simply hurts, or that you are too afraid to even try at all.
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THE BANANA:
Like a banana on its back, a Banana penis is curved slightly upward (think of a pointer finger giving someone the "come hither" signal).

The Banana
The Banana

The Good: Because it is curved up it has the opportunity to constantly rub against the upper wall in the vagina… which also happens to be where the G-spot is said to be. That constant rubbing can make for very good sex, even if the guy has poor technique and is pretty much clueless as to what he's doing.

The Bad: Many guys with this type of curve can initially be insecure about their turned up shape, even apologizing for its misshapen form. Banana'd men: no need to apologize. Looks don't always matter. You've got natural skill and you didn't even know it!
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THE HOOK:
Similar but opposite of the Banana, the Hook is a penis that is hooked with a curve that points down like a flamingo's beak.

Flamingo (notice the downward beak)
Flamingo (notice the downward beak)

The Good: Doggy style is awesome with a hook because it's perfectly hitting your G-spot. There are also several fun and exciting positions that feel extra good, like backward bull-riding (girl on top, facing his feet)

The Bad: In traditional missionary position, since the pecker is pointing down, it isn't going to rub you the right way when it comes to your g-spot. No matter how he thrusts, at what angle or speed, he naturally bows away.
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THE POCKET ROCKET:
He may be small, but don't underestimate him. Remember: many powerful, successful, and sexy men are diminutive (Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Napoleon Bonaparte and Benito Mussolini).

Pocket Rocket
Pocket Rocket

The Good: First of all, remember that "the pocket rocket" vibrator is one of the best selling vibrators on the market. And it's little. These guys know that they have big competition out there, and they often have taken that challenge to task by perfecting their techniques- including honing their skill at head (which they tend to be AWESOME at… and BTW, good head can produce an orgasm more mind-blowing than intercourse… I mean, make you feel like you're going to pass out- mind blowing). Men with little guys can be as good at moving their man as any battery-powered pocket rocket. Because falling out can often occur, missionary and doggy style are generally the best bet positions, which can make for even more intimate sex including lots of kissing and full body contact. Since every penis has the same amount of nerve endings, regardless of size, little guys tend to be more sensitive- with a greater concentration in a smaller area (similar to chicks and nipple sizes). Another benefit of a Pocket Rocket- they are much more pleasant to give oral sex to. Your mouth won't be nearly as sore after, which allows you to do it longer and more often.

The Bad: The little guy can also fall out of you if conditions get too slick or positions too peculiar. When this happens, don't freak out or be embarrassed, just slip him back in. Some chicks do like the sensation of being completely filled up- which you simply won't get with a Pocket Rocket.

"That's what YOU Said…"

Because they each have their own personalities, don't forget that vaginas do too. We aren't all shaped the same. Our sensations slightly differ. Some love fast, others deep, many slow, even shallow, and of course there is a combination of the styles each utilized at the right moment based on our level of sensitivity thanks to a complex combination of time of the month, closeness to orgasm, and of course mood- which is always relative.

Now, with all of that in mind, really can you say that it's just the size and shape of a penis that matters when it comes to the effectiveness of bringing you to orgasm?

xx Laurel

Laurel House

is an international Dating Coach and Flirting Expert, MTV's MADE "It Girl" Mentor, 4x published Lifestyle Author, and a go-to Expert on E! News. She recently completed her 5th book "Screwing The Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love," which will be released in December 2014 with Running Press.

With over 12 million views on YouTube, Laurel has created a platform to deliver dating and healthy lifestyle tips to the masses. Her dating tips appear on CupidsPulse.com, YourTango.com, SheKnows, DigitalRomance.com, FabFitFun.com, and a lot more. Because of her edgy, honest, and wide-ranging advice, she is often referred to as the modern-day Ann Landers (and sometimes the writer version of Taylor Swift).