Dating Advice “Straight From Your Gay Best Friend”

By Erin Meanley, Glamour magazine

Today we're talking with Terrance Dean, author of a new book called Straight From Your Gay Best Friend: The Straight-Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having a Fabulous Life! According to Terrance, gay men are a woman's best ally. "We know how men think," he explains, "yet we also relate to our BFFs because we're in touch with our emotions…We are not trying to sleep with our good girlfriends, and we certainly won't borrow your best fashions and not return them." Read on to find out what your gay best friend knows, after the jump!

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Erin: Since you know men so well, which ones should we stay away from?

Terrance: If a man tells you he is not interested in being in a relationship, then guess what? That means not with you. If a man tells you that he has a girlfriend but is always looking for more female friends, run, run, run! If a man calls you after midnight to come over to his house, well, this is an easy one. If a man is not willing to define the relationship he has with you, then you are not in a relationship. His response is generally, "We're cool," or "Why do we have to define this?" If you've been seeing a man for over six months and you've never been to his home, have not met any of his friends or family members, and you are still not sure where he works, this is a clear indication that you don't have a relationship with him.

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Erin: Do you have any quick tips for tapping into our fabulousness?

Terrance: Love yourself. If you love who you are, then others will love you. If you don't appreciate you, then others will not. If you don't show yourself respect, then others will not. Don't be afraid to know that you are number one-not two or three. You deserve the best and you should expect the best. Know that nothing is too good for you. And, don't be afraid to tell a man what your wants and needs are. Teach that man, and show him that you're fabulous and he has to fall in line and treat you as such.

Erin: How can women make a romantic relationship last?

Terrance: Women need to stop giving their power over to men, and in the process forgetting who they are and allowing their emotions to take over. Never negate who you are for anyone. Your relationship is a two-way street. It requires work from both ends, and not 100% of you giving of yourself all the time. And, keep in mind that men think with their brains. Women think with their hearts. So whatever emotional experience you're having, understand he will think in a logical way before he will think in an emotional way. Also, remember that men like to pursue; they like to hunt. A woman has to make the man pursue her and not give in so easily to her (or his) desires. I'm not saying you have to hold out all the time, but give a little chase and keep him on his toes. And women must learn how to listen to their men. Pay attention to what he is saying and doing. If he is not living up to your standards and he is not doing what he says he will, then that woman must reevaluate that man and make him accountable and responsible. Effective communication works all the time, and as I said before, be able to express your needs and wants, and listen to what his are. And, stop making him wrong all the time. Yes, we know women are always right, but, Ms. Diva, you don't have to point it out all the time.

Erin: Thanks, Terrance!

Do you have a gay best friend? Are you looking for one? What do you think of Terrance's advice?

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