The Dating Debacle: Are Men and Women Secretly at War?


Make love not war. Really.What are we fighting for?

So are we better off single or is the alter everyone's final destination? And why? Some of the comments I've been reading lately on Shine have me concerned: are men and women fighting some sort of secret anti-relationship war?

Here's an example. Look at the comments under Rori Raye's tips for finding marriage-worthy material.

Date Three Men At Once

First of all, I've had another stint of being on a "man diet," but called it quits early in 2012. In over a year's time, I've only had one date that didn't go any farther than there.

I should have known that a guy who's 40 and never married or had kids is not a good match for me. Major red flags when a guy starts revealing TMI in text after just one date. Especially if it's about his shortcomings (or non-comings) in previous relationships.

Needless to say, I don't know how women can even convince men to ask them out. Is there a special talent one has to have? Is it only for women who haven't been divorced or have kids? Is it only for the 20-somethings?

Dating for dodo birds.

Call me anti-insanity or crazy all together, but going online to find dates was a lesson in the quote Einstein was famous for. For all the time invested and useless messages for guys who dropped the ball before we even met, I just got tired of the "no results" results.

Aside from my online dating attempts with guys only interested in quick hookups, I've been gifted with a plethora of patience when it comes to letting the "organic method" of meeting men take place. Like I said, I got asked out once (in over a year) by a guy I volunteer with-- even being extroverted, social, and involved with my community.

Really, I became concerned about why men are so skittish about asking a woman out these days, after all, a date isn't a proposal of marriage. A navy friend of mine (okay, so he was a one-night-stand from a moment of weakness years ago that I still keep in touch with) texted me one day that he's coming to town. I had previously mentioned to him that if he wanted to see me, he'd have to ask me out on a date. His response was, "someone always gets hurt when you do that." Oh really? Cause I sure didn't think it was hurtful to text a simple, "I'm here" to let me know he's looking for some action.

I really think dating is going the way of the dodo bird. Why are men and women rejecting each other rather than trying to connect? As I shake my head about where the world of dating is going, I've discovered there's another hidden agenda.

So what's wrong with being single anyway?

There was a great article about Dana Delany recently that reveals her content with being "forever single." Apparently, not everyone thinks she's being honest. If you want to see some of the "must-marry-to-be-happy" fanatical comments, read here:

Dana Delany: I'm Happy Being Single

I'm wondering, are men or women more afraid of marriage lately? Cause I've been there and done that, and it scares me more than being dropped into a shark tank during my period to imagine getting married again.

From what I hear and read (including the opinions of wise men who know about history), it appears that women have made great advances to be self-sufficient. They now aren't as desperate to create an agenda where a man will take care of her. If anything, they've become empowered to draw boundaries when their man doesn't pull his weight in a relationship. After all, he's not only replaceable, but she just doesn't need a man to cook for, bring him a beer or make him a "sammich" when she's come home from her full time job.

So again, I'm rather confused about the angry men who post statements like, "any man that marries a woman today is a complete idiot!" - Mike, Yahoo Shine. In that sense, what do we need each other for at all? Now we're boycotting marriage and dating all together.
What's next?
Bliss. Can it still happen?
Once upon a time, men loved women. Women adored men. They dated, fell in love and got married.

Or, they dated and broke up. Either way, it was a life experience.

For those brave souls who dared to date in order to find love, they're probably enjoying the sweet sunsets together like in the picture.

For others, I'm confused, sad, and fearful for your future.


I'm on Dana's side when it comes to being single and happy. But I would be tickled pink if I did meet (and date and fall in love with) a nice guy who cared about me. That would be us in the picture.

Oh, and I make a mean sammich. But he'd have to give me a full body massage before I'd make him one.

P.S. Thanks, Drex (Mr. Green Eye) for inspiring this post. I've been busy "doing my thing" and reconfiguring my life. I'll soon be heading back to college to get some degrees and earn enough to survive in this jungle. Oh, and I'm going to get my certification to become a REAL therapist. If I'm going to be answering those pressing questions you have for me, I should know the right answers (and get paid).
Read my articles or visit me at Examiner.com.