Dating Snap Judgments Not to Make

Anna Breslaw, Glamour magazine

As you know, the magically awkward 10-minute verbal pas-de-deux that occurs when a guy asks you on a date is more than enough time to make unfair assumptions, patronizing judgments and generally write him off as not worth your time. But...

While it's good to have standards, there are certain calls you might be making here that could lead you to miss out on an unexpectedly great relationship. Liiiike...

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"Oh, no, he's on OK Cupid."

Like blisters and/or a Goth phase, online dating happens to the best of us. If you ask me, it's a good sign--he's actively looking for something romantic.

"Oh, dear, he lives in [insert crappy neighborhood here.]"

First of all, a brief paen to the crappy neighborhood: not only are they beautifully non-hipsterized, but they often house the best secret awesome restaurant spots in the area. Secondly, don't be a snob. It just means you have to stay over and cuddle instead of walking to the train at 3 A.M., which is not a bad thing.

See also: if he lives with his parents.

"But he went out with [insert someone you know here]!"

Unless he went out with your best friend (and dumped her), Girl Code does acknowledge this important loophole: One woman's trash is another woman's treasure.

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"[Insert someone you here] said he hooks up weird."

Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks. Literally. Everyone's got idiosyncrasies where sex is concerned, but maybe his and hers didn't align while his and yours will. Maybe he went down on her for longer than she would have liked, or he shouts "VICTORY FOR THE FORCES OF DEMOCRATIC FREEDOM" when he has an orgasm, or his penis is shaped all funky. Whatever it is, you might be into it.

"Why is he name-dropping?"

This really used to turn me off, but eventually I realized that this is basically what happens when a guy is trying super-hard to impress you in the first five minutes. It's kind of cute! (Now, if it continues through dates 1, 2 and 3, then you can make that call.)

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"Ugh, he's a 26-year-old intern?"

OK. Times are hard. This is forgivable. There is a difference between being a short-term slave for a company you really respect and being the kind of professionally unemployed person who hopes to coast for the rest of his life on "slipped and fell" lawsuits. Right?

Thesis: If you're single and you seem to have bad luck with dudes, it's only logical that this might change your not-so-good patterns. What are some snap judgments you make about guys? Ever made any of these?


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