Dear Whys Guy: "How Can My Husband Find Strippers Attractive AND Me?"

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK


Why does my husband always say I look most amazing when I don't have a stitch of makeup on, but when he's watching TV or is somewhere naughty for a bachelor party, he thinks the overly made-up, fake-looking women are hot?

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You answered your own question. The strippers look "hot," and you look "beautiful." See the difference? Guys can like both looks in very different ways and at very different times. I don't know if this is true for your husband, but a lot of guys have trouble seeing their wives in the same overtly sexual way they see strippers. It's the Madonna/w---- thing that freaks guys out. Their wives are "Madonnas," sacred and pristine, while strippers and the like, are "w----s," and the focus of sexual wants and desires. And, sadly, never the twain shall meet.

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I don't think it's particularly healthy to think of some women as "w----s" and sexual objects, but I think it's equally unhealthy to think of your wife as sacred and pristine (I can't imagine the sex would be very good if you treated your wife like that). Luckily, I'm not afflicted by that particular hang up.


Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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