Dear Whys Guy: "How Do I Tell My Boyfriend His Psoriasis Bothers Me?"

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:


I have a very sweet and caring boyfriend. I love him dearly, and he is wonderful, except one problem: He has psoriasis. Really bad psoriasis. He leaves dime-size skin flakes in the bed, so I have to change the sheets every day. Luckily it's only on his feet and ankles, but still... He responds very well to his prescription steroid cream and has no side effects. Within a few weeks of treatment, the psoriasis is almost gone! But he says he doesn't need the treatment and that it bothers him. I've tried telling him how much it bothers and disgusts me, but I'm not phrasing it in such a way that he can really understand. Please help!

Related: 7 Things Men Secretly Don't Want in Bed


DEAR REDBOOK READER:

If he's not taking his meds because it bothers him, that's his deal; you're not the one using the steroid cream, so you don't really know how it makes him feel. That being said, if he's decided not to follow his course of treatment and the result is "dime-sized skin flakes" in the bed, then why are you the one changing the sheets every day? The bed seems to be the one area where his decisions about his condition affect you, and while I don't think you can tell him what to do with his body, you can certainly tell him to clean up after himself. Long story short, let him know that if he wants you sharing his bed, he'd better be willing to clean it.

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Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at redbook@hearst.com with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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