Dear Whys Guy: "My Ex is Sending Me Mixed Signals"

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK


My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for about a year and a half. We recently broke up again. Every time we get back together, I find myself doing things that he doesn't like, things that made us break up in the first place. For example, being too "needy" in his eyes. So here's my question: We've been texting back and forth for about two weeks now. Sometimes he responds to me, and sometimes he blows me off for days. He only responds to everyday topics and ignores anything serious or emotional. Why does he answer me sometimes and not other times? If he doesn't want to talk to me at all, then why does he still respond after a few days? I guess that's why I am so confused. I've flat out asked him numerous times if he wants me to just leave him alone, with no response. Please help!
-Redbook reader

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You gotta walk away. It's done, it's over. If someone makes you feel the way your question reads, then you don't want to be with that someone long term. Maybe he's keeping you around for a rainy day booty call; maybe he's extra bad with communication, maybe he's got weirdo control issues, maybe he's too soft to end it definitively. But ultimately, his stuff doesn't matter, because this needs to be about you. You need to get tough and walk away. Don't ask him whether HE wants you to leave him alone; just LEAVE HIM ALONE. Be the boss, end the relationship (if it even counts as a relationship - and judging by this letter I'm not sure it does to him), and take a little time to figure out what you want before looking for another one. Take time for yourself and find your confidence so the next time someone jerks you around like this, you're strong enough to not think twice before you slam the door on his ass.

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Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at redbook@hearst.comwith Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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