Dear Whys Guy: "My Husband Needs Child Care Advice!"

Redbook

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:

I'm planning a girlfriend getaway and will be leaving my husband to watch our two young kids for the weekend. Since you're an old hand at this, can you give him some advice on doing solo duty for 48 hours straight?

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DEAR REDBOOK READER:

Children are like wild animals, so I've basically just cut and paste how to approach a horse from the internet, made a few minor changes, and then substituted the word HORSE with the word CHILD.

Step 1. Approach the CHILD confidently, but not threateningly. If it is outside and tied up, approach it from an angle, where it can see you (CHILDREN have a blind spot right between their eyes). If the CHILD is in a stable, let it see you before you enter. Walk with a confident posture and look at the CHILD, but don't stare him down. If the CHILD tosses its head, puts its ears back, or shows some other indication of fear or anger, step back, but not in a cowardly way-you want the CHILD to get the idea that you're respecting him, but not afraid of him.

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Step 2. Talk calmly and quietly. The last thing a nervous CHILD wants is someone loud and intimidating. CHILDREN don't understand words, but they do hear tones of voice, so mumbling about your day or saying nice things in a calm, soothing voice should help calm the CHILD.

Step 3. Hold out your hand before you pat the CHILD'S muzzle. Let the CHILD sniff your hand until you see the CHILD visibly relax. If it tries to bite you, take a couple of steps back to let it calm down, then try again.

Step 4. Take the HORSE to go get ice cream. This is a great way to bribe your HORSE into behaving itself for, like, 45 minutes.

<< Read more from Aaron Traister's Whys Guy Q&A Blog >>

Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at redbook@hearst.comwith Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.

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