Dear Whys Guy: "Why Is It So Hard For My Guy to Read My Emotions?"

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK


Why is it so hard for my guy to read my emotions? I'm not asking him to read my mind, but is it really so hard for him to know when I need a hug without my spelling it out?

Related: 5 Dresses Every Woman Must Own


Yes, it is. Don't make him sit there and analyze your body language. He's not a feelings detective. He's not gonna say, "Through my keen powers of observation, I've noticed your slumping shoulders and frowny face. Thanks to those physical details and your story about your friend Tina drinking too much at work, I've deduced that you are sad! Why, it's elementary my dear girlfriend! Now come and receive your consolatory hug from your boyfriend, Jon Bon Jovi! The greatest relationship detective in the entire state of New Jersey!"

Related: 51 Days of Outfits for Less Than $200

(I'm assuming this letter was specifically about Bon Jovi.)

Anyway, isn't it much easier to just tell your boyfriend (or Jon Bon Jovi) that you need a hug? My advice: Use your words.


Need help decoding odd male behavior? Redbook columnist Aaron Traister, who lives in Philadelphia with his wife and two kids, is our resident male who is happy to answer any questions you might have about the mind of a man. Either leave your questions in the comments or email him at with Whys Guy in the subject. Letters, emails, and comments may be edited for clarity and length.

More from REDBOOK:

Connect with REDBOOK:

Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.