Dear Whys Guy: “Why Do Men Think My Politeness Means I’m Interested in Them?”

By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK

DEAR WHYS GUY:
"I live in a large apartment complex, and I'm friendly toward all my neighbors. In the past six months, three gentleman on my floor have separately asked me out on a date. I have politely declined because I don't want to date men in my building-things could become awkward, and I don't want to deal with that. Now when all three of these guys see me, they don't talk to me, and sometimes they mutter rude comments under their breath. And no, I don't think they know each other.

"My question is: Should I start being meaner? Just because I'm nice to a man, does that automatically mean he thinks I want to date him?"

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DEAR REDBOOK READER:

I'm not sure if this is a guy thing or more of a crappy neighbors thing. Muttering rude stuff under your breath simply because you got turned down for a date is the mark of a burgeoning psychopath. Most normal guys get comfortable with the fact that if they're going to swing at tough pitches, they are occasionally going to strike out. When that's the case, a decent, normal dude tips his cap to the pitcher and waits for his next at bat. But a roided-out freak show curses out the umps, breaks his bat across his knee, and charges the mound.

There are guys who think that just because a girl is nice to them, they are getting an invitation to pursue, but even those sorta sad, deluded fellas should have enough experience under their belts, if they're living in an apartment on their own, to know that nothing is a sure thing, and getting turned down is nothing to get upset about. You simply move on to one of the other roughly 3.5 billion women on the planet. I can't believe they're saying rude stuff to you-what jerks.


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