Dear Whys Guy: "Why Does My Husband Belittle Me About My Sex Drive?"
By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
DEAR
My husband is an attentive and thoughtful lover, but my doctor recently put me on a medication that kills my drive and makes it almost impossible to get from point A to point B without what amounts to overstimulation (toys plus hubby every time). At first when I explained this, he seemed to understand. Now he makes little hurtful comments or accuses me of not loving him. What's the deal?
DEAR REDBOOK READER:
Related: What Your Man Really Thinks in Bed
Firstly, what guy actually cares that his wife needs a vibrator? I could understand if he was frustrated because he wasn't having sex at all, but how does your use of a toy diminish his experience? I'm gonna give your husband the benefit of the doubt and hope that this is all a communication breakdown. Maybe his ego is bruised and he's trying to make light of the situation by making jokes and he doesn't realize that they are hurting your feelings, in which case you need to let him know. Of course, the less charitable option is that his ego is bruised and he's trying to make you feel bad, too, which is horrible on a number of different levels and might indicate that he needs therapy and you both need to see a marriage counselor.
Here's a good rule of thumb: Your man can be frustrated and grumpy, but even frustrated loving husbands don't make hurtful comments or accuse their partners of not loving them-especially when it comes to medical issues. Don't let a loved one belittle you or use you as an emotional punching bag.
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