Cancelling Your Dating Profile...How Soon?
By Alex Johnson for BounceBack.com
When you are single in this modern day, chances are you have already exhausted all the dating options of trying to find your mate. You have gone on blind dates, been set-up by your friends, taken a whirl at speed dating and even tried your local singles bar. After trying all those options and still no end result of "happily ever after", you decided that you are going into the world of online dating.
For me, going into the online dating world was something I was against for quite sometime. I was embarrassed to admit to my friends that I was going on a date with someone that I exchanged a few innocent emails with and the whole thing just seemed to lack romance. However, after hearing from several people of their online dating experiences, some good and some down right awful, it was the same experiences that I was having NOT being online. Now, more and more people are comfortable with admitting that they have an online profile and shocker of all shocks…people are falling in love with someone they have met from an online dating website.
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Online dating has become so mainstream that if you are single, it is rare that a person DOESN'T have an online profile. Of course, you shouldn't shut yourself down from meeting people the old fashioned way, but why not increase your chances of meeting your potential next great love by creating your very own profile.
Each dating website varies and there is always the factor of what exactly you are looking for. One thing is consistent and this is…you MUST create your profile in order to search for others. This can be extremely nerve racking and time consuming. You want to stand out above the rest, so you can't just write that your favorite past time is, "long walks along the beach," because everyone is in favor of that. You have to provide your most amazing photos, write something witty about yourself and make sure that you attract what you are looking for. I have known people that have taken hours, weeks and even months to finish their online profile. After you have filled out every single question and uploaded your photos, it is now time to hit the send button and hope that the online dating gods are connected and ready to deliver you that perfect match.
Now it is time to date. Online dating is no different really than dating in the third dimensional world with one teeny tiny exception. As opposed to meeting someone in a social setting where you already know by looking at someone whether or not you are attracted to him or her, with online dating you are faced with the element of surprise. Will this person look like their photos that was presented on their profile? In my experience, if the person doesn't look like their photo that was showcased, I have been rather harsh in not pursuing the date. If they are lying about their photo, what else could they possibly be lying about? I don't have the time or the energy to find out. If they look like their photo, most of the time they look even better in person and I compliment them by telling them so.
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Also, with online dating, chances are, you are juggling more than just one person. Your inbox on your email account can be a who's who in the city which you reside in, and the only way to figure out who is who is by either their email address or a clue of their likes or dislikes. However, with all dating, there comes a time when you have exhausted all options and you have met someone whose company you actually enjoy and want to pursue, which leads to the very important dating question…
When do I cancel my online dating profile and focus on dating one person?
I can't recall the last time someone asked me to be "exclusive". Even my friends have not had this occasion happen. It is just something that tends to happen naturally. However, if two people met through an online dating service, chances are, they are still getting email alerts of potential dates. Temptation is bad enough when faced in the real world; must it be reminded to us on a weekly basis in our inbox what else is out there?
Having the discussion of both parties canceling their profiles can be a joyous occasion. It is the modern day equivalent of someone asking you to "go steady", "getting pinned" or finally being able to say, "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend." However, nothing is ever clean and simple in the dating world. With these dating sites, there is the option to "cancel your membership" all together or you can "hide" your profile so that no other users can view you. How you chose to handle your profile can also give you an insight on how you actually view the level of your relationship. If you cancel your membership all together, does this mean that you are in this relationship for the long haul or if you just hide your profile, does that mean that you are holding off and seeing how this relationship goes until something better comes along?
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Regardless of how you handle your profiles, it is critical that you are both in agreement on what you do with them. It is something that people put a lot of effort into. Let's face it. Dating is like having a second job. It is work. It takes determination, patience, and compromise, all with hopes of getting to the next level. However, like a job, once you find that amazing person, that is when the real work follows. It is what we put our blood, sweat and tears into. After all, isn't that why we created our dating profiles in the first place? For those currently online…happy hunting and those contemplating going online, give it chance - you have nothing to lose!
BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.
More articles on BounceBack.com:
Can Forgiveness Be Forgotten?
Is Sex Really Required?
5 Reasons to NOT Give Up on Dating
What To Do (And Not To Do) on the First Date
Love, Internet Style
5 Dates for a Rainy Day
Alex Johnson is a freelance writer and is currently living in New York City. Follow his blog about love, dating and all in between at: www.updatenyc.net