Divorcing the Narcissist: What You Need to Know

You may be married to a narcissist and not even realize it. Does your spouse continually show signs of worrying "only about me" while ignoring your needs-- including your children? Does he or she also show lack of emotion, happy or sad, when things happen to you? It could be the sign of inability to empathize and.... a narcissist.

Sorry, but if so, you're not alone. If you need instant information on what it means, click here. If you are a single parent divorcing a narcissist, you might want to join One Mom's Battle.

Why do I care? Well for starters, I'm NOT a narcissist. They can't care. All they "feel" for is themselves. I was married to someone who was devoid of emotions. It sucks. He was good at putting on the mask that suited my needs. But after a while, the feathers and glitter that shined on that facade wore away.

After he left to seek divorce, I saw the monster behind the mask. It frightened me to see "who the Heck was I married to for over 15 years?"

It can happen to anyone. Even "smart" people. Do you love easily? Do you care for others? Are you the type who looks for the good in others instead of their flaws? Then you are a targeted victim for a narcissist!

Here is a list of "narcissistic personality disorder" characteristics (NPD):

  • React to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation

  • Take advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals

  • Have excessive feelings of self-importance

  • Exaggerate achievements and talents

  • Be preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love

  • Have unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment

  • Need constant attention and admiration

  • Disregard the feelings of others, and have little ability to feel empathy

  • Have obsessive self-interest

  • Pursue mainly selfish goals

Yes, this is my ex-- to a "T". Don't end up like me. I was raked over the coals in my divorce, and my drama lives on. Do what you can to educate yourself and find help. Get your ducks in a row before you leave. They are capable of an unbelievable amount of evil.

DON'T PUT ANYTHING PAST A NARCISSIST!

For an example, my ex left our kids on Christmas day. The following day, he called my kids to let them know he was enjoying ice cream (with his mistress). They feel a "charge" when they know that they make other people feel bad. Including their own kids. It makes me sick to my stomach.

If you are in a relationship with such a person, know that he or she can't and won't change. It's a personality disorder and personalities don't change. Unless you end the relationship, he or she will continually bring drama and chaos into your life.

Seek help or just leave. You can do it. God knows: there are many decent human beings in this world. You really shouldn't waste your time with an ego maniac, self-centered, un-emotional jerk in your life. Not even as a friend.

If this article has spoken to you personally, or you would like to get up close and personal with the author, here's a link to her website: Single Parent Dating, Hubpages.com.