Does He Want Porn Star Sex?

David S. Meharey/iStockPhotoDavid S. Meharey/iStockPhotoQ: I found some racy and disturbing DVDs in my husband's drawer, and now I'm worried he wants those things sexually. What do I do?

A: lot of men -- and women! -- watch pornography to tap into fantasies that might have nothing to do with what they want in real life, says REDBOOK Love Network expert Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of Passionista. "Your guy may get turned on by the DVDs' content, but that doesn't mean he's not also excited by the sex you have together," says Kerner. If you two share a satisfying sexual relationship, you don't have to address this. But if you feel uncomfortable, talk to him: "Explain that you know that the DVDs aren't necessarily bad but that you're unsure what to make of them and curious about his thoughts," says Kerner. "This nonconfrontational approach will avoid embarrassing your husband or putting him on the defensive." Use the opportunity to discuss your sex life and to make sure you're both feeling connected. "And if you want, share your own fantasies," says Kerner. "It might open the door to something you two can share."

What about you? Does porn do it for you?

Related:
Men's Secret Sex Fears
Diary of an Affair
Weird Ways Happy Couples Stay Close
30 Seconds to a Better Marriage
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Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.