Don't Fear the Changes in Your Relationship...Embrace Them!

By Kelli Cooper for BounceBack.com

Change. For many of us, it is a dirty word. We do not like it one bit. We get very comfortable in our current situations. We are very attached to certain situations, people and ways of operating. We form very firm pictures of what the future will hold based on our current reality. We are happy the way things are and change is painful.

We do not like uncertainty. We do not like not knowing what is going to happen. Sometimes change naturally occurs and we cannot avoid it, such as eventually graduating high school or college. We know it is coming, but that often does not make it easier. Other times, unexpected change is thrust upon us. A relationship that we thought we would have the rest of our life, ends suddenly. Your once thriving company decides to downsize and you find yourself out of a job. Your partner gets a great job offer, but it requires moving clear across the country where you do not know another soul.

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Some of us thrive on change and meet the challenge head on, but most of us are not so enthusiastic about this unavoidable aspect of life. It is understandable, but we can find ways to deal with it better and it involves changing the way we look at change. This is obvious, but most of us really never examine how we are thinking and feeling and make the deliberate effort to shift. We know life is all about perspective, but we rarely utilize this all-important nugget of wisdom. The truth is always simple, the hard part is letting it sink in past all the junk programming, distorted belief systems, bad habits and negativity that resides in our mind.

Change is one of the only constants in life and learning to accept this can make dealing with it a whole lot easier. Over the last few years, I have experienced some changes in life that were less than pleasant, but really taking this to heart, really letting it permeate my consciousness, rather than rolling my eyes and dismissing this glaringly obvious statement , has helped me immensely. It does not mean all my negative feelings magically disappeared, but accepting the inevitably that nothing stays the same removed that extra layer of negative feeling that occurs simply because we are feeling badly.

We have a tendency to focus on the negative in life and when we are in a period of transition, we are especially prone to doing this. We are still holding on to what is no longer and we focus on all the misery this causes. Understandable of course, but we have a choice. We always have a choice where to put our attention and how to view things. While you may not be able to do this every second, really make an effort to focus on the good things that can result from this change. I assure you there is at least one thing. We have a huge amount of control over our life experience and we always have the opportunity to create something good in our lives. Your life will unfold in the manner you decide it will; your life will only suck if you decide it will.

Related: Whatever You Believe Will Be True For You

Change presents us with a wonderful opportunity to grow, learn, expand and make our lives better. You may not see that right in this moment, but at least letting this idea creep into your mind is a good first step. Getting more comfortable with change will help you become bolder, it will give you the courage to do the things you really want to do, the things you are afraid to do because you fear the change that comes along with these decisions. Life is a whole lot easier when we go with the flow and stop trying to fight what simply is in the moment. Embracing change will take you a long way in this direction.

What have you done to embrace change in your relationships thus far?

BounceBack.com helps people find happiness in the right relationship. If you've been through a breakup, divorce, or just haven't been able to find happiness in your love life,BounceBack is a place to tell your story, get community support and advice from experts, and find the confidence and strength you need to move forward. Check out our Facebook page.

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Kelli Cooper is a freelance writer who runs the personal development blog Life Made to Order. She is also the author of Passing on Parenthood: A Childfree Woman Speaks Out .She has a passion for personal development and sharing what she has learned in her own journey to help others improve their lives as well