Drinking and Dating: Too Much Vs. Not Enough

by ScrewingTheRules.com Dating Coach Laurel House

Perfect Cocktail
Perfect Cocktail

When it comes to dating, drinking can play a major role.

But according to AYI.com, drinking habits come into play even before the first date! What drinking habits do you admit to online? What does it say about you? Should you lie about frequency? Studies show that drinking habits affect your chances of finding love online. Here are the facts:

-Drinkers get more responses online than non-drinkers.

-Singles over 30 who say they drink "often" have 56 more "friends" on Facebook on average and 993 more "friends of friends" than singles who never drink.

-Women who say they drink "often" are 13% more likely to be contacted than those that never drink.

-Men who said that they are "social" drinkers were the most contacted on AYI.com.

-And what is the alcoholic beverage of choice? Beer. Yes, both men and women on AYI.com prefer beer, particularly Heineken and Bud Light.

Should You Lie On Your Online Dating Profile About How Much You Drink?

No. It's not like they won't eventually find out. If you downplay your frequency online, then prove otherwise in real life, your date is automatically going to start questioning what else you weren't quite so honest about. The point is to establish a foundation of trust and to attract other singles with like lifestyles. If you drink often but pretend to drink occasionally, you could be deterring a potential match who drinks often. Or if you drink occasionally and claim to drink often, you might be turning off an occasional or non-drinker who might actually be better suited for you.

***Watch the video below for more dating advice…***

How Much Should You Drink On The 1 st Date (and 2 nd , 3 rd dates)?

Alcohol can serve as liquid courage. It allows you to loosen up a bit, drop your guard, stop being so rigid, allow your mind to stop thinking about work and get into a romantic mood. BUT… drink too much and you may have effectively put on "beer goggles," essentially blinders that make you unable to see red flags and instead only become aware of the amazing qualities of your date (even if those qualities are hugely exaggerated thanks to the booze). You can also completely turn your date off, making it seem like you have a lack of self-control. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

-Know your limit. If you truly can tolerate several glasses of alcohol without getting too tipsy or drunk, then drink to your limit if you'd like- but not beyond. If you know your max is one and a half glasses, then stop there. A date isn't the time to test your limits.

-Don't feel the need to "keep up." Just because he is on his 3 rd glass doesn't mean that you should down your barely touched 2 nd so that you can be head to head. This isn't a race. Stay at your own pace.

-Slow down. The above being said, just because you "can" drink 3 glasses without "feeling a thing," doesn't mean that you should. This isn't a contest to prove what a great tolerance you have. You also shouldn't have the attitude of "hanging out with buddies and kicking back a few." The purpose is to get to know your date. Drink LESS than you normally would so that you can keep a clear head.

-Pay attention. Drinking can make you clueless of what's going on around you. Pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues from your date. He/She might comment that they have had enough and don't want to order another. It could be a hint to you that they are uncomfortable with the amount that you are drinking too. Follow their lead and don't order another.

-Don't hide. Some people use alcohol as a form of escape. They hide their true personality behind the fog of booze. If that's you, don't drink, or at least keep it to a minimum. The key to a good date is being yourself, not a falsely confident/fun/interesting/introspective alcohol-instigated version of you.

-If you're not a drinker- don't drink! There is no reason to be embarrassed or awkward about the fact that you aren't a drinker. Just be honest from the onset. It doesn't have to be a big drama. If you prefer not to drink, but you're comfortable dating someone who does, let them know that. We all make our own choices. You just have to be true to yourself as to what you are honestly comfortable with. That includes long-term. If you don't drink and you are fine dating a drinker, but long-term… you're not sure you could marry one. Then you should rethink your comfort level of being with a date drinker. Unless you're just looking for a hookup.

What if you are dating a recovering addict?

SoBear supports addiction recovery
SoBear supports addiction recovery

Dating a recovering addict is all about open and honest communication and transparency. Depending on how long the addict has been in recovery, they might not be interested in, or feel comfortable dating someone who drinks. If they are still a struggling addict, while you can support their recovery, you need to be careful not to become the enabler. Again, communication, as well as trust, is key. Bottom lines, love, support, honesty, and being true to yourself and your needs too are all essential. Unless trust is broken and lines are crossed, providing strength but support, plus comfort and kindness can help. You can show that you support their recovery by giving them a SoBear. Though it's not a 12-step program, SoBear provides addicts with a token of sentimental value which gives them with an opportunity to stay committed to a life of sobriety. Alcoholism isn't something that should be hidden when dating. Similar to recovery, new relationships require honesty, communication, and trust. If you or someone you are dating is struggling with an addiction, don't hide it. You are only feeding so many of the factors that fuel it. Get help and enjoy a SoBear hug.

Bottom line: Be honest. Play it safe. Be yourself. Have fun!

xx Laurel


Laurel House
Laurel House

Laurel House is an international Dating Coach and Flirting Expert, MTV's MADE "It Girl" Mentor, 4x published Lifestyle Author, and a go-to Expert on E! News. She recently completed her 5th book "Screwing The Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love," which will be released in December 2014 with Running Press.

With over 12 million views on YouTube, Laurel has created a platform to deliver dating and healthy lifestyle tips to the masses. Her dating tips appear on CupidsPulse.com, YourTango.com, SheKnows, DigitalRomance.com, FabFitFun.com, and a lot more. Because of her edgy, honest, and wide-ranging advice, she is often referred to as the modern-day Ann Landers (and sometimes the writer version of Taylor Swift).