,I am a possessive woman and that's especially true in relationships. What's mine is mine. That includes all of my partner. In my eyes, sharing is not caring!
Still, I've never snooped through a man's phone. Surprised? Yeah, me too. I have felt the need to. I didn't trust one of my exes and just knew there was another woman in his life. Instead of going through his text messages, emails, and photos, I broke up with him. 'Cause it's pointless to be in a relationship if there is no trust.
Has a man ever looked through my phone? Not that I know of. But, according to a study by Mobile Phone Checker, there's a high probability that it has occurred. Men look through their partners' phones more than women.
Of 2,081 UK adults surveyed, 62 percent of men currently in a relationship admitted to looking through a partner's phone. How did the women fare? Only 34 percent said they had done the same. What was the motivation? Lack of trust, of course. Eighty-nine percent admitted that they snooped because they thought their partner was cheating. Were they? Did they find the proof? Forty-eight percent did find evidence of infidelity.
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I asked some women if they had ever snooped and, if so, why. It came down to looking for answers. One woman checked her live-in fiancé's email. "I had already decided to split up," she said. "I read an email he wrote to a friend where he blamed me for the problems in the relationship and for the breakup. If I'd had any doubts about ending the relationship before, I never did again."
Then there was a woman who snooped accidentally.
"I wanted to look at his pics of us and the phone froze," she recalled. "Then the email opened. One of those craigslist ads - men seeking girls - popped up!" That's when she began looking through everything. "I stole his passwords," she continued. "I was young and stupid so I stayed with him, but there was no trust anymore." She admits she should have just broken up with him.
So, is snooping is okay? It is an invasion of privacy. How about talking to your partner first before looking through his or her phone? They may not admit to infidelity, but body language is also telling.
We also always know, don't we? Our intuition tells us when something is just not right. But, no judgement here. Snoop away if that's what you need to do. Who am I to say otherwise? I'm the woman who hates to share. What's mine is indeed mine. And sometimes the only way to get answers is to dig. Question is: are you prepared for what you may find?
-By Sujeiry Gonzalez
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