Five Steps to Resolve Conflict
Conflicts are an inevitable part of almost any close relationship you find yourself in. Small conflicts can, in fact, turn into larger ones that can cause entire relationships to break down after years of peace. Rather than letting that happen, it is helpful to learn some simple steps that can help you resolve any conflict you are involved in.
Admit Fault
If you caused the conflict or contributed in any way to creating it, it is helpful to apologize to the other person. This empowers you to take responsibility for your part in the conflict, which is a sign of maturity. Saying sorry is a matter of owing up to the fact that you have said or done something that you did not think through carefully. Apologizing and admitting fault can also help encourage the other person involved in the conflict to apologize for the part he played in creating it.
Talk About It
The second step in resolving conflict is to talk about what is happening for you both. It is essential for both parties involved to explain how you are feeling and what is causing these feelings. Make sure you try to listen deeply to what the other person is explaining to you, as understanding is a crucial part of resolving conflict and restoring harmony between people.
Search for Common Ground
Though many people falsely believe that resolving a conflict is all about informing the other person involved what you don't like about him and expecting him to change himself, it can also be about finding compromise. Instead of trying to force the other person to accept your perspective, try to understand where he is coming from. This will enable you to be more skillful in explaining your point of view.
Resist the Urge to Attack
Many people become tempted to simply rattle off what they are upset about in their partner when trying to resolve conflicts. Try discussing instead the kinds of things you might have not thought out or did wrong yourself. You can then gently mention some things you perceive that your partner did wrong. In this way, you can prevent yourself from attacking, and instead will be giving and taking constructive feedback.
Remain Calm
It can be very difficult to stay calm in the midst of an emotionally charged relationship, as your emotions come to the surface, which can cause you to scream or cry. These actions only make matters worse, as they can easily cause the other person's emotions to come into the picture as well, which is not helpful in conflict resolution.
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