Getting to "Exclusive": Who Makes the Call?
By Rosie Munger, BounceBack.com Editorial Staff
The other day, as my friends and I discussed the issue of dating more than one person at a time, Ana chimed in with newly found clarity about exclusivity: "MEN CHOOSE!!" She continued to say that men "will do what it takes to monopolize your time and will make sure that no other guy gets you" once he decides you're the one. In her view, if a woman is dating more than one person at a time (assuming she has the goal of a long term relationship) it is because "a man has not chosen her. He has not claimed her and she has not reciprocated." A man will pursue "with rigor" if he finds the right woman.
Beth mostly agreed with Ana but reminded her that "women can choose too." If a girl is not spending time with a guy, she's essentially making her own choice about whether she wants to be exclusive with him. Both ladies agreed that it takes reciprocal interest to even get close to a relationship, but is Ana on to something here?
Traditionally, men were supposed to be the pursuers while women waited for their suitors to come courting. Certainly there were women who turned men down, but how many women actively determined the outcome of the relationship? Is the woman's role still one of a passivity as she waits for a man to choose her?
Do men still have more control than women over whether a relationship becomes exclusive?
Rosie Munger is a California native who loves to travel the world via plane, food, art, music or a good heist novel. She'd like to believe each sex has equal choice in the matter, but she's honestly not sure.
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